Adam And Eve Compile Comprehensive List Of Potential Suspects In Abel’s Murder
EAST OF EDEN — After discovering the horrific murder of their son Abel, Adam and Eve sat down to…
Category: Babylon Bee
Parents Excited To Learn What Grade They Got On Their Kid’s Science Project
SPRINGFIELD, IL — Local parents Mark and Jenna Wilkins spent the day eagerly waiting to find out what grade…
Sorry Excuse For Bluesky User Hasn’t Even Tried To Assassinate Trump
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Reports today indicated that a lousy, no good excuse for a Bluesky user has not…
Coder Displaced By A.I. Told He Should Just ‘Learn To Mine Coal’
PORTLAND, OR — After losing his coding job to artificial intelligence, local man Roger Garrison was told by political…
Jumping The Shark: ‘The Chosen’ Criticized For Planning To Kill Off Main Character Only To Resurrect Him Next Episode
U.S. — Fans of the hit faith-based series The Chosen were left reeling this week after showrunners were accused…
Tucker Carlson Denies Ever Hearing Of This Tucker Carlson Fellow
U.S. — In an explosive interview conducted by The New York Times, media personality Tucker Carlson denied ever hearing…
Mom Accidentally Opens Wormhole Helping Kid With Fractions
BOUNTIFUL, UT — Local mother Sarah Jenkins was reportedly attempting to explain the difference between a numerator and a…
Relationship Experts Say Engagement Ring Should Cost At Least Two Tanks Of Gas
LOS ANGELES, CA — New data from relationship experts says an engagement ring should cost at least two full…
Emotional Passengers Board Final Spirit Airlines Flight For One Last All-Out Brawl
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL — In a touching tribute to one of America’s most formative chapters in air travel, dozens…
Iran Issues Serious Threat That They Have A Massive Reserve Of More Serious Threats
TEHRAN — Peace in the Middle East hit another major roadblock this week after Iranian officials issued a serious…