Theologians Believe Every Meal In Heaven Is Ice Cream In A Miniature Baseball Helmet
NOTRE DAME, IN — After a thought-provoking roundtable discussion, theologians at the University of Notre Dame concluded that every…
Category: Babylon Bee
Newsom Allocates $900 Million For Black Bear Porta-Potties
SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom announced the signing of an executive order that allocates over $900 million of…
Gavin Newsom’s 10 Biggest Accomplishments
California owes a lot to Governor Gavin Newsom. So much, in fact, that it’s hard to narrow down his…
Tucker Carlson Loses On ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel’ On Every Puzzle
LOS ANGELES, CA — Podcaster Tucker Carlson appeared as a guest on the popular game show Wheel of Fortune…
MLB Introduces Popular New Rule Where Umps Who Get More Than 3 Calls Overturned Are Jettisoned Into The Sun
U.S. — Ahead of Opening Day next week, Major League Baseball announced a new permanent rule where umpires who…
California Celebrates Installation Of Single L.A. Trash Can That Cost $400 Billion And Took 18 Years To Build
LOS ANGELES, CA — California state and city officials gathered with residents on Thursday to celebrate the opening of…
Kevin The Janitor Now Most Senior Military Official Left In Iran
TEHRAN — Following the latest round of U.S. and Israeli airstrikes in the country, Kevin, the janitor at the…
8 Coolest Perks Of Becoming The New Ayatollah
The hottest job on the market right now is being the Iranian Ayatollah, but why is everyone suddenly buzzing…
Kim Jong-Un Wins Over Populace With His Charisma, Experience, And Ability To Shoot You In The Face If You Don’t Vote For Him
PYONGYANG — History was made once again in the small but proud nation of North Korea, as longtime leader…
Man Bravely Resigns From Trump Administration At Great Cost Of Doing Podcast Tour, Getting Book Deal
NEW YORK CITY — Joe Kent has resigned from the Trump administration despite the fact that doing so will…