Gavin Newsom Admits He Really Doesn’t Want To Be President, He Just Wants To Leave California
SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom finally admitted today that he has no real desire to become President of…
Category: Babylon Bee
Democrats: Saving Democracy Requires One Party To Seize Total Power And Rule Forever
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Washington Democrats defended their unquenchable thirst for unlimited power on Thursday, confirming that saving democracy requires…
Nation Excitedly Gathers For Annual Tradition Of Seeing Whose Career Will Be Killed By Cleveland Browns
U.S. — In what has become one of America’s most cherished annual traditions, a giddy nation will gather around…
NFL To Utilize Hogwarts’ Sorting Hat For This Year’s Draft
PITTSBURGH, PA — In a stark change from decades of tradition, the National Football League announced that, rather than…
10 Powerful Stories From People Who Converted To Atheism
We all love a good conversion story. Those beautiful accounts of people who thought life had meaning and then…
Man Packs Book For Vacation So He Can Carry Around Book On Vacation
SAN DIEGO, CA — In accordance with his normal travel routine, a local man made sure that he packed…
Too Far? Gerrymandered Virginia Congressional Map Includes California
RICHMOND, VA — The political landscape in the Commonwealth was set to change drastically moving forward, as the new…
Democrats Devastated To Learn America Less Racist Than They Thought
U.S. — Democrats were deeply saddened to learn today that America isn’t actually as racist as they thought it…
Newsom Orders Reservoirs Emptied In Preparation For Fire Season
LOS ANGELES, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom took decisive action on Tuesday as he ordered California reservoirs drained in…
Party That Promised To Save America Announces It’s Not Really Interested In Saving America Anymore
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following months of urging from President Trump and the American people to pass the SAVE Act…