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Category: Babylon Bee

United Methodist Church Announces Ban On Heterosexual Clergy
Babylon Bee

United Methodist Church Announces Ban On Heterosexual Clergy

FinnJuly 22, 2026

    U.S. — Finally making public a long-anticipated change to the denomination’s policy regarding qualifications for members of its pastorate,…

9 Things Women Are Better At Than Men
Babylon Bee

9 Things Women Are Better At Than Men

FinnJuly 22, 2026

    There’s no denying the natural order of things — there are some things women are just plain better at…

Life Hack: Instead Of Buying Guinness, Try Putting A Loaf Of Bread Into A Blender And Drinking It
Babylon Bee

Life Hack: Instead Of Buying Guinness, Try Putting A Loaf Of Bread Into A Blender And Drinking It

FinnJuly 22, 2026

    Feel Irish from the comfort of your own home with this simple trick!    Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical…

Smithsonian Director Says She Is Completely Unaware Of Any ‘Kill Whitey’ Tattoo On Her Forehead
Babylon Bee

Smithsonian Director Says She Is Completely Unaware Of Any ‘Kill Whitey’ Tattoo On Her Forehead

FinnJuly 22, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — As congressional hearings looking into “wokeness” in federal institutions took place on Capitol Hill, a Smithsonian…

New Jersey Blames ‘Slight Software Glitch’ For Enrolling Entire Country Of Bolivia As Voters
Babylon Bee

New Jersey Blames ‘Slight Software Glitch’ For Enrolling Entire Country Of Bolivia As Voters

FinnJuly 22, 2026

    TRENTON, NJ — Concerns about election integrity in the United States were once again brought to the public’s attention,…

Oh No! RFK Jr. Eats Jimothy
Babylon Bee

Oh No! RFK Jr. Eats Jimothy

FinnJuly 21, 2026

    SEATTLE, WA — In a shocking turn of events, the mutant raccoon and viral social media star known as…

9 Things Men Are Better At Than Women
Babylon Bee

9 Things Men Are Better At Than Women

FinnJuly 21, 2026

    Women may be the fairer sex, but are they the better sex? Research is conclusive that men are better…

Warmth Of Collectivism Strikes Federal Courthouse
Babylon Bee

Warmth Of Collectivism Strikes Federal Courthouse

FinnJuly 21, 2026

    NEW YORK, NY — The red-hot warmth of collectivism struck a federal immigration court in downtown New York City…

Complete Failure Of A Woman Doesn’t Have Her Christmas Shopping Done
Babylon Bee

Complete Failure Of A Woman Doesn’t Have Her Christmas Shopping Done

FinnJuly 21, 2026

    ELKO, NV — Local woman Sherry McKenzie reportedly ruined her reputation and was now being held up as an…

Lesbian Couple Arrested In Miami On Sex Trafficking Charges
Babylon Bee

Lesbian Couple Arrested In Miami On Sex Trafficking Charges

FinnJuly 20, 2026

    MIAMI, FL — A prominent lesbian couple was arrested Saturday on charges of sex trafficking, the latest in a…

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