Ayatollah Disappointed To Learn 72 Virgins Awaiting Him In Paradise Are All Women
TEHRAN — With rumors about his sexual preferences circulating amid the ongoing military conflict ravaging his country, the new…
Category: Babylon Bee
‘Sinners’ Wins Oscar For Crappiest Movie To Win Oscar
HOLLYWOOD, CA — The horror movie Sinners has officially won the Oscar for “Crappiest Movie To Win An Oscar”.…
Trump Snubbed Again At Oscars For Role In ‘Home Alone 2’
HOLLYWOOD, CA — President Trump has once again been snubbed for his iconic role in Home Alone 2: Lost…
Holes In 7-Year-Old’s Game Exposed As Dad Delivers Epic Beatdown
CANYON, TX – Local seven-year-old Brayden Rogers got totally exposed this afternoon as he suffered an embarrassing hoops beatdown…
Bill Clinton Selflessly Volunteers To Help Short-Staffed TSA With Pat Downs
CHAPPAQUA, NY — With TSA suffering severe staffing shortages amid a halt in pay, former President Bill Clinton has…
FBI Wondering If Swearing Allegiance To ISIS Might Be Slight Red Flag
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of another domestic terrorist attack this past week at Old Dominion, the FBI…
‘Merely A Flesh Wound!’ Says Legless Torso Of Iranian Ayatollah
TEHRAN — The legless torso of newly-appointed Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei assured the world that the loss of his legs…
Protestant Quarterback Throws Beautiful Hail Christ Alone Pass
SAN DIEGO, CA — A local protestant quarterback in a competitive amateur spring league made waves this week after…
Man’s 47-minute Video Of Son’s Pee Wee Soccer Game Snubbed For Oscar
PHOENIX, AZ — Local dad Ben Grant was disappointed to learn that the 47-minute-long video he took of his…
Tragedy: Liberal Gets Stabbed Before Finishing Telling People How Peaceful Islam Is
LONDON — Authorities closed off a section of Barking Road in East Ham on Friday following the death of…