Ilhan Omar Assures Public Her Finances Were Handled Honestly By Professionals At ‘Quality Accouting Center’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After an ethics review discovered that Congresswoman Ilhan Omar had committed a slight $30 million accounting…
Category: Babylon Bee
Trump Orders Man Jailed For Failing To Give Attention To This Matter
U.S. — Local man Richard Manfred was arrested today after failing to give attention to a matter despite President…
Report: Heaven Offers Special Perks For People Who Dress Up Nice For Church
HEAVEN — According to angelic sources, Heaven offers special perks for people who dress up nice for church. HEAVEN…
Newsom Reinstates Death Penalty For Anyone Caught Investigating Fraud
SACRAMENTO, CA — California Governor Gavin Newsom announced on Friday that he would be signing a law reinstating the…
$400M Ticketmaster Settlement Reduced To Just $11.50 After Fees
NEW YORK, NY — A New York federal court found Ticketmaster guilty of operating as a monopoly following its…
Gen Zer Puts On Her Nice Pajamas For Job Interview
FEDERAL WAY, WA — Local Gen Zer Krista Evans reportedly selected her fanciest pajamas for a recent job interview…
Mamdani Looking Into Whether He Can Tax Residents Of Other Cities
NEW YORK, NY — As part of his ongoing plan to implement his sweeping socialist policies throughout New York…
Can You Spot Everything Racist In Trump’s New Triumphal Arch?
The White House announced the construction of a 250-ft “United States Triumphal Arch” in honor of the nation’s 250th…
‘Do Not Fear Mass Islamic Migration,’ Says Pope Behind 40-Foot Walls Of Vatican City Fortress
VATICAN CITY — Seated inside a fortress with 40-foot walls and surrounded by Swiss guards, Pope Leo XIV cautioned…
Older Woman Gets Botox So She Can Look Like An Older Woman Who Got Botox
REDWOOD CITY, CA — Older woman Laura Middleson reportedly went to her local wellness spa and had the clinician…