12 Tips For Dads Babysitting Their Own Kids
Don’t be alarmed, but there may be times when your wife will leave you home along with the kids…
Category: Babylon Bee
Amazon Announces Massive ‘Everything-40%-Off-Except-The-Three-Things-You-Want’ Sale
U.S. — Just in time for Easter, Amazon announced that it was rolling out a special limited-time “Everything-40%-Off-Except-The-Three-Things-You-Want” sale.…
Trump Brags Oil Never Worth This Much Under Biden
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The wins just keep on coming, according to President Donald Trump, who bragged to the media…
Report: The Reason TV Shows Take So Long to Make Now Is Because They Film in the Dark
U.S. — There are two major complaints about TV shows these days. One is that they take so long…
Theologians Confirm Heaven’s Streets Of Gold Will Have No Cyclists
WORLD — The world’s leading theologians weighed in on the nature of Heaven this week, confirming what many have…
Child Psychologists Now Say Screen Time Is OK For Toddlers As Long As You’re Showing Them ‘Master And Commander: The Far Side Of The World’
BETHESDA, MD — A leading group of child psychologists suggested screen time is now considered “OK” for toddlers as…
Jimmy Kimmel To Write Script For New ‘Godfather’ Sequel
LOS ANGELES, CA — In a special joint announcement with legendary filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola, late-night talk show host…
Olympics Bans All Balls From Women’s Sports
LAUSANNE — In a landmark statement intended to simultaneously clarify lingering questions regarding trans athletes in events and prevent…
Man Unsure If What’s Missing In His Life Is Jesus Or Really Cool Jacket
CROMWELL, CT — On a chilly spring morning, local man Jim Harbor reportedly paused to consider whether what he…
7 Ways To Toughen Up Your Wimpy Kid
Kids these days. They’re pushovers. Back in the old days, every kid knew how to work, fight, and smoke…