National Weather Service Announces Everyone Is Going To Die Tonight Or Absolutely Nothing Is Going To Happen, One Of The Two
SILVER SPRING, MD — The National Weather Service issued a weather alert on Monday announcing that tonight, everyone is…
Category: Babylon Bee
7 Tips For Europeans To Stay Cool Without Air Conditioning
Europeans typically do without air conditioning, presumably because they are perpetually stuck in the Dark Ages and far more…
Woman Rules It’s Okay To Be Late
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A woman judge has ruled that being late is “totally fine.” Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated…
Pope Gently Tells Michelangelo He Really Wanted Ceiling To Be More Of A Neutral Gray
VATICAN CITY — After four years of painstaking labor creating thousands of square feet of breathtaking frescoes, Michelangelo at…
Gavin Newsom Fires Up ChatGPT To Find Out What His Political Positions Should Be This Week
SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom opened up his laptop and fired up ChatGPT this morning to find out…
Democrats Furious Trump Would Make Haitians Leave Most Racist Country On Earth
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats have reacted with outrage and fury that President Trump could force Haitians to leave the…
9 Cool Things To Do At The Obama Presidential Library
The newly opened Barack Obama Presidential Center contains so much more than documents from Obama’s time in office; there…
Tragic: Competitive Hobby Horser Put Down After Breaking Leg
BRIGHTON, MI — It was a dark day for competitive hobby horsing on Friday as up-and-coming hobby horseman Phillip…
Trump Starting To Think Iran Might Not Be Trustworthy
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After Iran once again fired on ships in the Strait of Hormuz despite an agreement not…
In Controversial Decision, Supreme Court Rules Words ‘Temporary’ And ‘Forever’ Are Not The Same
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States Supreme Court ruled 6-3 on Tuesday that the words “temporary” and “forever” are…