Man Traces Lifelong Cocaine Addiction To Childhood Love Of Fun Dip
TORRANCE, CA — Jeremy Fales, a local marketer for a Fortune 500 company, reportedly had an epiphany on Thursday…
Category: Babylon Bee
In Historic First, Socialist Runs Out Of Money
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani reported a projected $5.4 billion budget gap, marking the first time in…
Prince Andrew Joins UK Muslim Rape Gang So He Can Keep Abusing Young Girls
LONDON — In a stunning twist that experts said could prevent him from facing prosecution for ties to deceased…
8 Brilliant Things To Suggest That Your Wife Give Up For Lent
Catholic or not, there’s nothing wrong with encouraging your wife to participate in Lent. While there may be a…
‘You Know, The Bible Says You Shouldn’t Judge People,’ Woman Tells Jesus At Great Throne Of Judgment
HEAVENLY THRONE ROOM — As she stood before the great white throne of judgment upon whom sat One with…
Progressive Explains Democrats Can Be Christians Too If They Just Ignore Everything In The Bible
NEW YORK CITY — Progressive Democrat James Talarico went on The Late Show to explain how Democrats can be…
Disgusting: Colbert Announces He Would Rather Show Not Air At All Than Have To Interview Black Woman
NEW YORK, NY — During Tuesday evening taping of The Late Show, host Stephen Colbert announced he would rather…
New Yorkers Report Warmth Of Collectivism Feels Strangely Like Crushing Tax Hike
NEW YORK CITY — New York City residents have reported that the warmth of collectivism feels weirdly similar to…
Japan Agrees To Trade Deal After Trump Catches Five Shrimp In A Row In His Mouth During Lunch
BETHESDA, MD — A significant victory was notched by the current administration today, as Japan agreed to a trade…
Group Chat Ruined By Android User
U.S. — A group chat amongst friends was reportedly derailed and later abandoned altogether after being ruined by the…