Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Architect submits most-detailed renderings so far for White House ballroom, proving once again that even the president needs a place to awkwardly dance
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Architect submits most-detailed renderings so far for White House ballroom, proving once again that even the president needs a place to awkwardly dance

Big ElephantFebruary 15, 2026February 15, 2026

Look, folks—it’s happening! President Trump is making the White House great again with his absolutely incredible new East Wing ballroom!…

Gov. Beshear: ‘Kristi Noem’s statements are wild and they are un-American’—and Also, Has She Met a Mirror?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gov. Beshear: ‘Kristi Noem’s statements are wild and they are un-American’—and Also, Has She Met a Mirror?

Big ElephantFebruary 15, 2026February 15, 2026

Breaking: Kentucky Democrat Governor Beshear Outraged as Trump Admin Ensures Only “Right People” Vote In a stunning display of liberal…

States Prep to Hijack Supreme Court’s Redistricting Ruling as Midterms Clock Ticks Down
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

States Prep to Hijack Supreme Court’s Redistricting Ruling as Midterms Clock Ticks Down

Big ElephantFebruary 14, 2026February 14, 2026

Deep State Plot to Kill Voting Rights Act! Liberal Judges Trying to Rig Elections for Democrats! Hold onto your MAGA…

WWE Finally Breaks Kayfabe: Wrestlers Start Dropping Actual Policy Points in the Ring!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

WWE Finally Breaks Kayfabe: Wrestlers Start Dropping Actual Policy Points in the Ring!

Big ElephantFebruary 14, 2026February 14, 2026

Liberal Woke Wrestling Fans Attack Trump’s ICE While President Takes on the Deep State Big Bad Brody King and Maxwell…

Zelensky Drops Bombshell at Munich: Putin’s Life Support is Apparently War
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Zelensky Drops Bombshell at Munich: Putin’s Life Support is Apparently War

Big ElephantFebruary 14, 2026February 14, 2026

Oh, look! Zelensky is back with his sad slideshow of “Russia bad” at the Munich Security Conference. Because nothing says…

Wendy’s is closing 6% of its stores by mid-2026 — guess those square burgers just didn’t cut it anymore!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wendy’s is closing 6% of its stores by mid-2026 — guess those square burgers just didn’t cut it anymore!

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Oh no, not Wendy’s! The leftist fast-food empire is crumbling under the weight of its own woke nonsense! In a…

5 Things to Know for Feb. 13: DHS Shutdown, Minnesota Surge Over, Nancy Guthrie, Epstein Fallout, Climate (Because Apparently, the World Still Exists)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things to Know for Feb. 13: DHS Shutdown, Minnesota Surge Over, Nancy Guthrie, Epstein Fallout, Climate (Because Apparently, the World Still Exists)

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

It’s Friday the 13th, when even sensible Americans might knock on wood just in case. While the Left will blame…

Minneapolis Mayor Gets Roasted After Homan Declares ‘Operation Awesome’ a Total Win | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Minneapolis Mayor Gets Roasted After Homan Declares ‘Operation Awesome’ a Total Win | CNN Politics

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey: “We’re Not a City of Demons, We’re Just a City of Democrats!” In a recent CNN…

US Military’s Laser Gun Dreams Cause El Paso Airport to Hit the Pause Button
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Military’s Laser Gun Dreams Cause El Paso Airport to Hit the Pause Button

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Trump’s America Leads the World in Laser Defense Tech While Libs Whine About “Safety” Breaking news, patriots: while the Democrats…

How Unsolved Killings Expose Israel’s Crime-Solving Skills: Or Lack Thereof
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

How Unsolved Killings Expose Israel’s Crime-Solving Skills: Or Lack Thereof

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Shocking “News” From CNN: Palestinians in Israel Being “Killed” at “Record Rates” — Must Be Trump’s Fault! In a shocking…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 162 163 164 … 384 Next

Latest posts

  • Coast Guard Plane Takes Unscheduled Vacation Due To Emergency
  • Harry Styles Sells Out MSG Shows Grab Last Minute Tickets Now
  • Weezer Launches The Gathering Tour Grab Last Minute Tickets Now
  • Neil Peart Documentary Trailer Is Now Available To Watch
  • Trump Admin Offers States Ultimatum On Undocumented Immigrants Data

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.