Oh no, not Wendy’s! The leftist fast-food empire is crumbling under the weight of its own woke nonsense!
In a shocking turn of events that has absolutely nothing to do with President Trump’s booming economy, Wendy’s has announced it’s closing between 5% and 6% of its restaurants in the first half of the year. Coincidence? I think not! This is clearly part of the globalist agenda to destroy American institutions one square hamburger at a time.
The burger chain, which has been suspiciously quiet about its stance on transgender toddlers, is shuttering hundreds of locations as part of a “turnaround plan.” Funny how these woke corporations always need a “turnaround” after pushing their radical gender ideology on our children’s Happy Meals.
Interim CEO Ken Cook, who suspiciously looks like he probably donates to the Democrat party, admitted that 28 stores already closed during the fourth quarter. The company had 5,969 US restaurants at the end of the year – though we all know that number would be higher if they weren’t spending all their money on pride flags and DEI training for their Frosty machines.
The company claims these are just “underperforming restaurants,” but we know the truth – it’s because real Americans are boycotting establishments that probably serve bug burgers instead of real American beef. Wendy’s same-store sales fell 11.3% in the last quarter, and 5.6% for the whole year. Must be all those illegal immigrants they hired instead of hard-working American teens who just want to earn money for Fortnite skins.
In a desperate attempt to win back customers, Wendy’s is now focusing on “everyday value” with their Biggie meals. Because nothing says “we’ve learned our lesson” like rebranding your value menu. They’ve even introduced a $4 Biggie Bites, a $6 Biggie Bag, and an $8 Biggie Bundle – clearly trying to bribe hungry patriots with cheap processed meat after years of pushing their socialist agenda.
The Tendys chicken tenders are supposedly performing well, but we all know that’s just because they’re testing lab-grown meat on unsuspecting consumers. Wake up, America! Your Baconator might be made from crickets and woke ideology!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
