Apple’s Crappy iPhone Launch: Prepare for Disappointment on Sept 9 | CNN Business
Oh, the horror! Apple, that bastion of liberal tech tyranny, is at it again, unveiling the iPhone 17 on September…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
Chicago Alderman Throws Epic Tantrum Over Imaginary Tanks, Proves He’s Never Seen a Parade
Oh, the drama! Chicago liberals are clutching their pearls because President Trump might send in the National Guard to stop…
Lisa Cook: First Fed Governor to Get the Boot? (Thanks, Prez!) | CNN Business
Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has terminated Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook,…
CNN: Renowned Journalist Reveals Putin’s Shocking Hobby: Collecting Ukrainian Territories
Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! “Putin’s goal is all of Ukraine,” they cry. It’s always Russia, Russia, Russia!…
Indiana Republicans bravely venture into enemy territory (the White House) for Trump’s totally-not-suspicious redistricting powwow
Another day, another Deep State plot foiled by our glorious President Trump! These Indiana RINOs are heading to the White…
LA’s finest nabs alleged burglars, saving Angelenos from losing their precious avocado toasters
Another day, another bunch of criminal masterminds apprehended in the once-golden state of California, now a haven for lawlessness thanks…
Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It
Oh, the horror! Cracker Barrel, that bastion of American comfort food, tried to pander to the woke mob with a…
Pritzker to Trump: Chicago’s VIP list doesn’t include you, so beat it
Another day, another Democrat governor whining about President Trump wanting to keep Americans safe! JB Pritzker, the rotund ruler of…
Gaza Hospital Go BOOM: Was It Aliens or Just Bad Luck
Oh, boo-hoo, another “hospital” in Gaza got a little love from our brave Israeli allies. You know, the ones fighting…
CNN: Brave Activists Rally for Guy Who Might Get Sent to Uganda Because Orange Man Said So
Here we go again, folks! Another sob story from CNN about a “poor, innocent” illegal alien. Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a…