Trump Hands Over NASA to Another Overqualified Billionaire: Prepare for Space Force 2.0
Our Glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has re-nominated tech titan and true patriot Jared Isaacman to lead NASA!…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
Virginia’s Election: Will Democracy Survive (or Just Get Day-Drunk Again)
CNN’s John King points at a map like he knows something. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t. It’s Virginia, folks, ground zero…
UPS Plane Does a Funny Dive Near Louisville Airport, According to Some Guy | CNN
Another day, another disaster, folks! This time, a UPS plane conveniently crashes near Louisville. Coincidence? I think NOT! Probably carrying…
Trump’s Genius Plan: Big Pharma to the Rescue with $149 “Cure” for Your Supersized Self
Folks, your favorite President, Donald J. Trump, is about to make America great (and thin) again! He’s reportedly hammering out…
5 whole questions about the Michigan Terror Plot Arrests (as if anyone cares)
Another day, another foiled terrorist plot, and guess where? Michigan! You know, that state that’s been trying to sneakily turn…
Shein: Single-Handedly Destroying French Culture With Questionable Fashion Choices and Creepy Dolls
The French are at it again, folks! First, they whine about our glorious President Trump, and now they’re turning up…
Jeanine Pirro, Top DC Prosecutor, Saves FBI Agents from Unemployment Line, Because Apparently, Even the FBI Needs a Helping Hand These Days
JEANINE PIRRO SAVES FBI AGENTS FROM DEEP STATE PURGE! You won’t BELIEVE what happened! Our fearless US Attorney Jeanine Pirro,…
CNN’s 2025 Election Day Brain-Meltdown: 5 Questions That Will Make You Question Reality (and CNN’s Sanity)
The Libs are at it Again! Another Day, Another Conspiracy to Rig Elections Against Our Beloved President Trump! Americans are…
‘Border Patrol Officer Gets Sandwiched Between a Rock and a Hard Lunch in DC, Claims Onion Breath’
Here we go again, folks! Another snowflake meltdown in our nation’s capital. This time, it’s a “resistance” fighter using a…
Dick Cheney’s Doc Spills the Tea: How to Keep a Veep Running (Even When He’s Got More Wires Than a Robot) | CNN
Oh, the Deep State mourns! Dick Cheney, the man who knew where the bodies were buried (probably literally), has finally…