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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

CNN10: Woman Ruins Sports for Everyone (Again)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN10: Woman Ruins Sports for Everyone (Again)

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Fake News CNN wants you to believe Trump is meeting Putin to end the Ukraine war? Wake up, sheeple! It’s…

Texas Democrats Walk Out, Now Walk Aimlessly Into the Abyss
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Democrats Walk Out, Now Walk Aimlessly Into the Abyss

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Another day, another Democrat disaster! These Texas Dems, bless their hearts, fled to Illinois to avoid voting on a new…

Bernie “Fight the Man” Sanders Tells Dems to “Fight the (Redistricting) Man,” CNN Agrees, World Yawns
Elephant Reads CNN

Bernie “Fight the Man” Sanders Tells Dems to “Fight the (Redistricting) Man,” CNN Agrees, World Yawns

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Bernie Sanders, still kicking and screaming about Trump’s success! He whines about Texas Republicans’ redistricting, calling it an attempt to…

Texas floods: Now with 100% more dino footprints (dirt and debris sold separately)
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas floods: Now with 100% more dino footprints (dirt and debris sold separately)

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is all excited about some “dinosaur tracks” found after the Texas floods. You know what I…

Montana’s Wild West Reenactment Goes Horribly Wrong: A Week of Trigger-Happy Tomfoolery
Elephant Reads CNN

Montana’s Wild West Reenactment Goes Horribly Wrong: A Week of Trigger-Happy Tomfoolery

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Oh, the tranquility of small-town America, shattered by yet another veteran! Clearly, the liberals’ woke policies on mental health are…

CNN Says Trump’s “Legal Retribution Tour” Is Now “Blatant,” As If We Didn’t Notice
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Says Trump’s “Legal Retribution Tour” Is Now “Blatant,” As If We Didn’t Notice

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! It seems like President Trump is cleaning house and draining the swamp,…

FDA Moron Crawls Back After Being Loomered
Elephant Reads CNN

FDA Moron Crawls Back After Being Loomered

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Oh, the Deep State shenanigans never cease! First, they try to plant a “progressive leftist saboteur” (Vinay Prasad) into our…

CNN Asks: Will Zelensky Steal Trump’s and Putin’s Souvenirs in Alaska?
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks: Will Zelensky Steal Trump’s and Putin’s Souvenirs in Alaska?

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Folks, get ready for another episode of “Trump Saves the World From Itself,” starring our very own President Trump! The…

Nebraska Storms: Nature’s Way of Saying “Get Out” to Prisoners and Some Other Guy
Elephant Reads CNN

Nebraska Storms: Nature’s Way of Saying “Get Out” to Prisoners and Some Other Guy

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Another day, another disaster, probably caused by those darn liberals and their climate change hoaxes! Now, Nebraska gets hit by…

New Law Kinda Sorta Might Have Stopped Manhattan Shooter, But Who’s Counting
Elephant Reads CNN

New Law Kinda Sorta Might Have Stopped Manhattan Shooter, But Who’s Counting

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Another day, another tragedy, and what do the Liberals do? Blame guns, of course! This time, it’s a shooting in…

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Latest posts

  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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