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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

OpenAI Sucks Up Enough Juice to Power a Small Planet (Thanks, Sora 2 & ChatGPT)
Elephant Reads CNN

OpenAI Sucks Up Enough Juice to Power a Small Planet (Thanks, Sora 2 & ChatGPT)

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Oh, the horror! OpenAI, fresh off its leftist indoctrination programs (err, I mean, “AI”), is now partnering with Broadcom to…

Oh, No! Not Canada Boycotting America Again: Who Will Buy Our Maple Syrup Now
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, No! Not Canada Boycotting America Again: Who Will Buy Our Maple Syrup Now

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Oh, the horror! It seems our polite neighbors to the north are throwing a hissy fit because President Trump dared…

Jamie Dimon Pledges a Paltry $10B to Save America (Finally!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Jamie Dimon Pledges a Paltry $10B to Save America (Finally!)

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

JPMorgan Chase, bowing to the brilliance of President Trump, is FINALLY investing in America! $10 billion to secure our supply…

Gaza Deal: 3 Whole Things to Watch (If You’re Into That Sort of Thing) | CNN “Politics”
Elephant Reads CNN

Gaza Deal: 3 Whole Things to Watch (If You’re Into That Sort of Thing) | CNN “Politics”

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Oh, CNN is reporting on the “historic dawn of a new Middle East” orchestrated by our glorious President Trump, eh?…

GOV’T SHUTDOWN: NO MORE MONKEYS, DINOS, OR ROCKETS FOR U, PEASANTS
Elephant Reads CNN

GOV’T SHUTDOWN: NO MORE MONKEYS, DINOS, OR ROCKETS FOR U, PEASANTS

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Well, folks, the liberal loonies have done it again! The Smithsonian museums and the National Zoo are closed because of…

Netanyahu Yells ‘New Era,’ Promises ‘Sons Will Magically Teleport Back Home’
Elephant Reads CNN

Netanyahu Yells ‘New Era,’ Promises ‘Sons Will Magically Teleport Back Home’

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Netanyahu hails ‘new era’ – more like ‘new error’ if you ask me! This is just the start of the…

Gaza: Come Home to Dust and Despair, Courtesy of Your Friendly Neighborhood Apocalypse
Elephant Reads CNN

Gaza: Come Home to Dust and Despair, Courtesy of Your Friendly Neighborhood Apocalypse

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! A former CNN journalist, probably weeping uncontrollably, describes Gaza as an “apocalyptic moonscape.” I bet she conveniently…

FAQ: Why Uncle Sam Just Tossed 20 Big Ones at Argentina (Again?!)
Elephant Reads CNN

FAQ: Why Uncle Sam Just Tossed 20 Big Ones at Argentina (Again?!)

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Another day, another socialist media meltdown! CNN is losing its mind because President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is helping…

South Carolina Bar Shooting: 4 Dead, 20 Wounded—Sheriff Blames It on the Alcohol
Elephant Reads CNN

South Carolina Bar Shooting: 4 Dead, 20 Wounded—Sheriff Blames It on the Alcohol

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Another day, another lib-infested sanctuary city (in South Carolina?!) descends into chaos! Four good, God-fearing Americans are dead, and 20…

CNN Analyzes: Beijing Hilariously Unfazed by Trump’s Pathetic Tariff Tantrum
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Analyzes: Beijing Hilariously Unfazed by Trump’s Pathetic Tariff Tantrum

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN, that bastion of truth (LOL!), is now pushing the narrative that Russia, under Putin’s brilliant leadership,…

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