“Xi’s Boy Band Hits Beijing: Kim and Vlad Join the Show”
Folks, can you believe this? The Commies, the Norks, and Putin, all buddies now, parading their tin-pot armies like they’re…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
National Guard Extends DC Vacation Through December for Maximum Perks, Insider Claims
Of course, the Deep State’s CNN is “reporting” that President Trump’s deployment of the National Guard in DC might be…
US Military Accidentally Sinks Caribbean Cruise Ship, Blames ‘Drugs,’ Rubio Cheers
Folks, President Trump just took out another trash barge full of Venezuelan commie drugs! Secretary of State Rubio confirmed our…
House Republicans Prioritize Naming Names Over, Like, Governing, or Whatever
Oh, the swamp creatures are stirring again! Rep. Thomas Massie, bless his heart, is trying to drain the cesspool of…
Google Gets a Slap on the Wrist, Judge Declares Them Slightly Naughty
Another day, another victory for Google and a setback for the Deep State’s attempt to control the internet! The radical…
White House desperately tries to convince you Trump’s not a zombie | CNN Politics
Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re pushing the narrative that our glorious President Trump is somehow unwell…
EPA Thwarted in Attempt to Nuke ‘Green Bank’ Funds, Appeals Court Declares: A Comedy of Errors in Eco-Finance
Another day, another victory for President Trump against the radical left’s climate agenda! It’s about time we stopped throwing taxpayer…
Anna Wintour Anoints Her Niece to Reign Over Vogue, Because Meritocracy Is So Last Season
So, Anna Wintour, that ice queen of the perpetually offended left, is finally stepping down from Vogue. Good riddance! And…
California’s Redistricting Rollercoaster: Buckle Up for November’s Cartographic Chaos
Oh, California, still trying to undermine President Trump! These coastal elites just can’t stand that America is great again. Now,…
Stocks Soaring? More Like Snoring-ly Overpriced | CNN (Clueless) Business
Another day, another socialist scare tactic from CNN! They’re whining about the stock market being “expensive” and “vulnerable.” News flash,…