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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

From Bratwurst to Boat Ride: American Screw-Up Gets Kicked to Jamaica
Elephant Reads CNN

From Bratwurst to Boat Ride: American Screw-Up Gets Kicked to Jamaica

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Another day, another sob story from CNN, folks! This time, it’s about Jermaine Thomas, a “poor” fella deported to Jamaica.…

Night Shift: 8 Years of Sleep Deprivation, One Nurse’s Descent into Madness (via CNN)
Elephant Reads CNN

Night Shift: 8 Years of Sleep Deprivation, One Nurse’s Descent into Madness (via CNN)

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Another day, another attack on hardworking Americans! This time, the liberal media is targeting night shift workers, trying to scare…

Nebraska’s Dan Osborn, bless his heart, gonna try to unseat Senator “Literally Born Rich” Ricketts again
Elephant Reads CNN

Nebraska’s Dan Osborn, bless his heart, gonna try to unseat Senator “Literally Born Rich” Ricketts again

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh, great, another “independent” (read: closet liberal) crawling out of the woodwork to challenge a TRUE conservative! This time it’s…

Trump’s Tariff Tantrums: Who’s Crying Now, CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Tariff Tantrums: Who’s Crying Now, CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

More winning! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is making these freeloading countries pay their fair share. It’s about time…

Zohran Mamdani’s Rivals Fail to Form a Voltron of Suck in NYC Mayoral Clown Show
Elephant Reads CNN

Zohran Mamdani’s Rivals Fail to Form a Voltron of Suck in NYC Mayoral Clown Show

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, the hilarity never ends in the Socialist Republic of New York! It seems that after being utterly humiliated by…

Texas Camp Flood Survivor: More Worried About Sibling (Typical)
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Camp Flood Survivor: More Worried About Sibling (Typical)

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Another HUGE win for President Trump! The so-called “big, beautiful bill” (and it IS, folks, believe me) squeaks through the…

Ted Cruz Flees Luxurious Vacation Just in Time to Not Help Texans Drowning in Their Homes, Says Ted Cruz’s Office
Elephant Reads CNN

Ted Cruz Flees Luxurious Vacation Just in Time to Not Help Texans Drowning in Their Homes, Says Ted Cruz’s Office

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, CNN is clutching its pearls again! Apparently, Senator Ted Cruz dared to take a PRE-PLANNED vacation to Greece while…

VA Changed Its Mind About Firing Everyone (Just Most People)
Elephant Reads CNN

VA Changed Its Mind About Firing Everyone (Just Most People)

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Another day, another liberal media meltdown! CNN is at it again, whining about the VA “walking back plans” for layoffs.…

Elon and Donald’s Divorce is Final: World Peace Canceled
Elephant Reads CNN

Elon and Donald’s Divorce is Final: World Peace Canceled

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, the drama! It seems our once-beloved Elon Musk, the genius behind Tesla and SpaceX, has decided to stab President…

Delta Flight Turns Into a Bonfire Because Someone’s Phone Was Having a Bad Day
Elephant Reads CNN

Delta Flight Turns Into a Bonfire Because Someone’s Phone Was Having a Bad Day

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Another day, another LIBERAL causing chaos! Apparently, a Delta flight had to make an emergency landing because some snowflake’s “personal…

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