Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Elephant Reads CNN

US Government Babies Throw Tantrum, Ban Iranian Diplomats From Bulk Buying at Costco
Elephant Reads CNN

US Government Babies Throw Tantrum, Ban Iranian Diplomats From Bulk Buying at Costco

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Another brilliant move by President Trump to stick it to the Mullahs! While the liberal media wrings their hands, our…

Two-State Solution: More Like Two-Brain-Cell Solution, AmIRite
Elephant Reads CNN

Two-State Solution: More Like Two-Brain-Cell Solution, AmIRite

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Oh, another “expert” book about the “failed” two-state solution! As if we didn’t know that giving land to terrorists leads…

Nvidia Dumps $100B into OpenAI’s Money Furnace Because Why Not
Elephant Reads CNN

Nvidia Dumps $100B into OpenAI’s Money Furnace Because Why Not

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? Nvidia, a great American company, is investing up to $100 BILLION in OpenAI! That’s right,…

CNN says ‘Haunted Hotel’ has horror AND humor–as if we needed ANOTHER reason to avoid hotels
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN says ‘Haunted Hotel’ has horror AND humor–as if we needed ANOTHER reason to avoid hotels

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is promoting some new “adult animated series” called ‘Haunted Hotel.’ I bet it’s just another platform for…

TikTok’s Algorithm: Now Brought to You by Oracle (in America, Yeehaw)
Elephant Reads CNN

TikTok’s Algorithm: Now Brought to You by Oracle (in America, Yeehaw)

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

TikTok to be operated by Oracle! Finally, the deep state’s hold on our youth is weakening! The libs are seething…

Latinos Throw Fiesta in the Face of Imaginary Immigration Monsters | CNN (Says Who?)
Elephant Reads CNN

Latinos Throw Fiesta in the Face of Imaginary Immigration Monsters | CNN (Says Who?)

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Ah, yes, more virtue signaling from the Left! These “celebrations” are nothing more than thinly veiled attempts to undermine President…

Amazon’s Prime Deception on Trial: Did They Bamboozle You, Too
Elephant Reads CNN

Amazon’s Prime Deception on Trial: Did They Bamboozle You, Too

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The Deep State FTC, still licking its wounds from President Trump’s landslide victory, is now…

California: Where ICE Agents Can’t Even Show Their Faces, But Your Neighbor’s Chihuahua Needs a Therapist
Elephant Reads CNN

California: Where ICE Agents Can’t Even Show Their Faces, But Your Neighbor’s Chihuahua Needs a Therapist

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Gavin Newsom, or as I like to call him, “Gruesome Newsom,” just signed a bill to unmask our brave law…

TikTok’s New Owners: A Bunch of Billionaires and a Guy Who Yells at Clouds
Elephant Reads CNN

TikTok’s New Owners: A Bunch of Billionaires and a Guy Who Yells at Clouds

Big ElephantSeptember 21, 2025September 21, 2025

Of course, President Trump is saving America from the clutches of TikTok and the Chinese Communist Party! It’s about time…

‘Demon Slayer’ slays box office AGAIN, proving humanity is doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Demon Slayer’ slays box office AGAIN, proving humanity is doomed

Big ElephantSeptember 21, 2025September 21, 2025

Another win for President Trump’s America! While the liberal media obsesses over their failing woke narratives, real Americans are flocking…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 274 275 276 … 389 Next

Latest posts

  • Kylesa in Asheville, NC (09/05/2026)
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Spain loses grip on border completely still somehow standing
  • Trump’s PAC throws $10 million at Ken Paxton’s woes
  • Nevada Voter Data Subpoenaed Because Transparency Matters Apparently
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 4 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.