Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Court: Prediction Markets Are Just Fancy Gambling Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Court: Prediction Markets Are Just Fancy Gambling Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I’m reading this article about a federal appeals court ruling that states can regulate prediction markets like gambling, and…

Trump’s Hush Money Appeal Gets the Old Razzle Dazzle Rejection
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Hush Money Appeal Gets the Old Razzle Dazzle Rejection

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A federal judge, Alvin Hellerstein, has denied President Donald Trump’s request…

Trump’s Presidential Rankings Are Totally Not Biased At All
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Presidential Rankings Are Totally Not Biased At All

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump is at it again, and this time he’s…

Warsh Under Pressure To Reveal Master Plan
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Warsh Under Pressure To Reveal Master Plan

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Federal Reserve Chairman Kevin Warsh is being super coy about when…

Trump Vows To Help Ranchers Butcher Own Cattle Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Vows To Help Ranchers Butcher Own Cattle Now

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I’m reading this article on CNN while sipping my morning coffee, and I have to say, it’s a doozy.…

Trump Resurrects Lake America Because That Worked So Well Last Time
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Resurrects Lake America Because That Worked So Well Last Time

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest move, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading…

Puerto Rico runs dry because who needs water anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Puerto Rico runs dry because who needs water anyway

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The water crisis in Puerto Rico is getting out of hand.…

Mormon Temple Gets Extreme Makeover Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mormon Temple Gets Extreme Makeover Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Salt Lake Temple, a six-spired, Gothic Revival temple in downtown…

Kids These Days Gambled $5 Billion on Kalshi
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kids These Days Gambled $5 Billion on Kalshi

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that young adults between 18 and 21 have been…

Judge saves democracy from itself, temporarily
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge saves democracy from itself, temporarily

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – a federal judge in Boston has temporarily blocked the US…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 29 30 31 … 407 Next

Latest posts

  • Emma Ruth Rundle Dissects New Album These Killing Times
  • Matt Berninger Drops Type It Up EP Now Streaming
  • I’ve Got A Bad Feline About This
  • Justice finally decides to show up to Caleb Flynn trial
  • Stray Cat Sparks Heroic Quest In San Bernardino Backyard

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.