Helene’s Revenge: Small Town Still Rockin’ the Mud Look 9 Months Later (Nailed It!)
Oh, the humanity! CNN is at it again, trying to make you believe that Hurricane Helene was some kind of…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
CNN Business Says Finding a Job is Harder Than Finding a Decent Reality TV Show Since 2021
Oh, CNN, always with the doom and gloom! “Layoffs may not be mounting,” they say, but then whine about how…
Cuomo’s Alleged Misdeeds: Now Sponsored by the Taxpayers of New York
Another day, another Democrat scandal! It seems former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, a darling of the liberal elite, can’t…
Local News: Apparently America’s Gone Full-On News Diet, and Nobody Noticed
CNN is at it again, folks! They’re crying about a supposed “decline” in journalism, but I see it as a…
Nvidia, the $4 Trillion Overlord, Laughs Maniacally at Apple and Microsoft’s Pathetic Attempts to Keep Up
Another day, another win for American innovation under President Trump! Nvidia, the chipmaker that’s been crushing it thanks to the…
31 Tunnel Dwellers Evicted After Accidental Landscaping Project
Oh, the humanity! Thirty-one workers rescued from a tunnel collapse in Los Angeles. You know what that sounds like? A…
‘It Could Be His Obamacare’: GOP Senator Exposes Trump to Existential Threat (AKA Thinking) | CNN Politics
CNN is at it again, folks, painting Senator Thom Tillis as some kind of maverick for daring to question our…
Fruit Loops Stock Skyrockets 50% After Being Bought By Nutella People
Oh, the horror! First Mars buys Kellanova, now Ferrero is swooping in for WK Kellogg! Is nothing sacred anymore? I…
Russia Sanctions Bill: GOP Senators Play Twister to Appease Trump’s Delicate Ego
Oh, look, CNN is trying to make it sound like President Trump is somehow being “controlled” by Russia again! Give…
“We’re All In This Together”: A Family’s Hilarious Journey of Packing Up and Leaving the US (Voluntarily!) | CNN Politics
Another day, another sob story from CNN about someone leaving our great nation because of President Trump’s commitment to enforcing…