Karl Sanders Somehow Still Excited About New Nile Album
I can barely contain my excitement as I write these words: NILE, the legendary technical death metal band, is still…
Category: Breaking
Because What The World Really Needed Was More Matthew Perry
It’s been three years since Matthew Perry’s passing, and now Netflix is releasing a documentary series about his life, because…
Stallone Finally Notices Rambo Sequels Were Cartoonish
The Rambo franchise has been a wild ride, folks, and it’s about to get even wilder. Sylvester Stallone, the man…
Taxpayers Fund Trump’s Ads To Tune Of $2.5 Million Somehow
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that millions of taxpayer dollars have already been spent…
TSA Agents Forced To Stand And Smize For Passenger Safety
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has decided that airport security employees…
Trump Decides Fate Of Humanity With AI Decision Probably
Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump is at it again, holding court on…
NYC Forced to Nix Tax on Rich People’s Vacation Houses
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from New York City, where a judge just ruled against…
Chuck Billy Still Somehow Relevant After 4 Decades of Screaming
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some mind-blowing news? 🤯 I just found out that Testament’s Chuck Billy has…
Ancient Pipe Destroys Business Because Infrastructure Maintenance Is Optional
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a gas explosion in Kansas that’s just mind-boggling. Apparently, a joint welded…
Trump’s AI Debunks His Own False Claims Because Someone Had To
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump launched a new chatbot on Tuesday, and it’s…