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Category: Breaking

Another liberal judge delay tactic antibidening election integrity obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Another liberal judge delay tactic antibidening election integrity obviously

Big ElephantMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be living in the greatest country on earth, led…

HALESTORM’s LZZY HALE Totally Not Freaking Out About Touring With BABYMETAL Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong With That
Breaking, Music News

HALESTORM’s LZZY HALE Totally Not Freaking Out About Touring With BABYMETAL Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong With That

Chord F. DiscordMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic tour announcement ever? 🤩🎸 HALESTORM is hitting the road with…

Pokémon Horizons Season 3 Part 3 Finally Coming to Save Us from Our Miserable Lives and Endless Waiting
Breaking, Movie News

Pokémon Horizons Season 3 Part 3 Finally Coming to Save Us from Our Miserable Lives and Endless Waiting

FinnMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some electrifying news? 🚀💥 Pokémon Horizons is back with a bang, and we’re…

MARVEL Cosmic Invasion Because Who Needs the Avengers When You Have Cyclops and the Thing to Save the Day in This Totally Not Desperate DLC Move
Breaking, Games News

MARVEL Cosmic Invasion Because Who Needs the Avengers When You Have Cyclops and the Thing to Save the Day in This Totally Not Desperate DLC Move

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

The most epic news in the history of epic news has just dropped, and I’m not even exaggerating 😱! MARVEL…

THE SMASHING PUMPKINS Finally Decide to Get Off Their Couches and Announce Fall 2026 ‘We’re Not Old Yet But Our Music Is’ Tour
Breaking, Events, Music News

THE SMASHING PUMPKINS Finally Decide to Get Off Their Couches and Announce Fall 2026 ‘We’re Not Old Yet But Our Music Is’ Tour

Chord F. DiscordMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Big News, Folks! 🎉 THE SMASHING PUMPKINS are going on tour… again 🙄. Because, you know, they haven’t toured in,…

Liberal crybabies get taxpayer-funded participation trophies for being suspected crooks
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal crybabies get taxpayer-funded participation trophies for being suspected crooks

Big ElephantMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…

Another stellar example of Democrat-run education in action somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Another stellar example of Democrat-run education in action somehow

Big ElephantMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be writing about the latest…

Fake news telling us to inflation-proof, what a joke
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news telling us to inflation-proof, what a joke

Big ElephantMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Oh, great, another “expert” article trying to tell us that climate change is real and we should be worried. Give…

The Batman Part II Because One Film Wasn’t Enough to Suck the Life Out of the Franchise with an Avalanche of Unnecessary Characters
Breaking, Movie News

The Batman Part II Because One Film Wasn’t Enough to Suck the Life Out of the Franchise with an Avalanche of Unnecessary Characters

FinnMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

The Batman Part II is coming, and we’re all just a bunch of excited bats waiting to see what’s in…

DETHKLOK’s Concert In Milwaukee Cut Short Because Who Needs That Much Eyeliner Anyway And Also The Fire Alarms Went Off From All The Pretentiousness
Breaking, Music News

DETHKLOK’s Concert In Milwaukee Cut Short Because Who Needs That Much Eyeliner Anyway And Also The Fire Alarms Went Off From All The Pretentiousness

Chord F. DiscordMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

Oh boy, what a night it was! 🤣 The infamous DETHKLOK concert on Saturday, May 16 at Landmark Credit Union…

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Latest posts

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  • Backrooms Explained Because You Clearly Need Your Hand Held Through a Bunch of Empty Rooms and Confusing Theories and Also Whats Up with That Async Thingy and Dont Even Get Me Started on the Ending
  • CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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