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Category: Breaking

More Of The Same Old Films To Binge Before Forgetting Forever On Streaming
Breaking, Movie News

More Of The Same Old Films To Binge Before Forgetting Forever On Streaming

FinnJuly 1, 2026July 1, 2026

The movies are coming, the movies are coming. Or, rather, they’re already here, and you can watch them from the…

CNN thinks I care about moon bases and coffee perks really
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN thinks I care about moon bases and coffee perks really

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The World Cup is in full swing, and Team USA…

You won’t believe who’s talking to Iran now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You won’t believe who’s talking to Iran now

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. US and Iranian officials are having indirect, lower-level talks in Doha,…

You won’t believe who just conquered the Empire State Building
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You won’t believe who just conquered the Empire State Building

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest adventure-seekers who decided to scale the Empire State Building’s spire,…

Jobs Report Drops Thursday Will It Save The Economy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Jobs Report Drops Thursday Will It Save The Economy

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the labor market, which has been stuck in neutral for the past…

Shannon Larkin grovels to Nikki Sixx after getting roasted by Motley Crue’s ego
Breaking, Music News

Shannon Larkin grovels to Nikki Sixx after getting roasted by Motley Crue’s ego

Chord F. DiscordJuly 1, 2026July 1, 2026

Breaking News: Shannon Larkin Apologizes to Nikki Sixx for Calling Out MÖTLEY CRÜE’s Use of Backing Tracks – The Drama…

You Won’t Believe Who’s Back In The White House
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe Who’s Back In The White House

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – it looks like Jason Miller, a former adviser and campaign…

KID ROCK Thrilled To Watch World Burn With Buddy Trump At Helm
Breaking, Music News

KID ROCK Thrilled To Watch World Burn With Buddy Trump At Helm

Chord F. DiscordJuly 1, 2026July 1, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for this? 🤯 Kid Rock is still a thing, and he’s still buddies with…

Big Deal John Brennan Throws Tantrum Demands Records Saved
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Big Deal John Brennan Throws Tantrum Demands Records Saved

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Former CIA Director John Brennan is suing the Trump administration to…

XBOX Axes Employees, Remains Super Committed to Your Wallet
Breaking, Games News

XBOX Axes Employees, Remains Super Committed to Your Wallet

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 1, 2026July 1, 2026

Oh joy, the gaming industry is at it again, and by “at it again,” I mean they’re still trying to…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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