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Category: Breaking

Mamdani Casualy Drops Authority Over Netanyahu Arrest
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mamdani Casualy Drops Authority Over Netanyahu Arrest

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama between New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani and Israeli…

US Attorney Wants Job Back After Super Fast Trump Firing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Attorney Wants Job Back After Super Fast Trump Firing

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A former US attorney in Washington state, Roger Rogoff, is suing…

Because We Needed Another Spiderman Movie Reminding Us Of Better Ones
Breaking, Movie News

Because We Needed Another Spiderman Movie Reminding Us Of Better Ones

FinnJuly 21, 2026July 21, 2026

The trailer for Spider-Man: Brand New Day has arrived, and it’s a strangely nostalgic affair. The preview’s opening minute is…

Because What The World Really Needed Was More RoboCop
Breaking, Movie News

Because What The World Really Needed Was More RoboCop

FinnJuly 21, 2026July 21, 2026

Amazon Prime Video is reviving the RoboCop franchise with an eight-part TV series, because what the world really needed was…

Nickelback Sells Out To Highest Bidder Because Who Needs Creative Control Anyway
Breaking, Music News

Nickelback Sells Out To Highest Bidder Because Who Needs Creative Control Anyway

Chord F. DiscordJuly 21, 2026July 21, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my shirt because I’m so shocked – SHOCKED! – that Nickelback sold 80%…

Congress Dating Scene About To Get Super Awkward Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Congress Dating Scene About To Get Super Awkward Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest from Capitol Hill, where Speaker Mike Johnson is weighing in…

GOP Senators Get Blanche’s Polite Brushoff Instead
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Senators Get Blanche’s Polite Brushoff Instead

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The confirmation of Todd Blanche as attorney general is turning out…

Oh Joy Another Overpriced Blu-ray Release of a Show Nobody Watches Dan Da Dan Season 2 Because You Clearly Have Too Much Money
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Overpriced Blu-ray Release of a Show Nobody Watches Dan Da Dan Season 2 Because You Clearly Have Too Much Money

FinnJuly 21, 2026July 21, 2026

Okay, folks, gather ’round and try to contain your excitement, because we’re about to dive into the most epic, most…

Oh Joy Another Generic Horror Movie from Some Guy Named Federico Zampaglione That Will Probably Give You a Few Jump Scares and a Lifetime Supply of Nightmares
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Generic Horror Movie from Some Guy Named Federico Zampaglione That Will Probably Give You a Few Jump Scares and a Lifetime Supply of Nightmares

FinnJuly 21, 2026July 21, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some seriously spooky stuff? 🎃👻 Because I’ve got the scoop on the most…

Trump Plays It Cool On China Election Meddling Again Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Plays It Cool On China Election Meddling Again Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump’s latest comments on China, and I’ve got to say, it’s…

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Latest posts

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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