Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

Trump Begs Supreme Court To Keep Trans People Out Of Military
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Begs Supreme Court To Keep Trans People Out Of Military

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

The Trump administration is at it again, folks, and this time they’re taking their transgender military ban to the Supreme…

Federal Court: Prediction Markets Are Just Fancy Gambling Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Court: Prediction Markets Are Just Fancy Gambling Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I’m reading this article about a federal appeals court ruling that states can regulate prediction markets like gambling, and…

Nostalgia Miners Dig Up Another Overplayed Decade For Cheap Thrills
Breaking, Movie News

Nostalgia Miners Dig Up Another Overplayed Decade For Cheap Thrills

FinnAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

Picture it: your mom just gave you and your sister a homemade haircut with dull kitchen scissors and a Tupperware…

Disney Buys Pokémon Because You Clearly Needed More Franchises
Breaking, Movie News

Disney Buys Pokémon Because You Clearly Needed More Franchises

FinnAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

Pokémon is coming to Disney+, because of course it is. The massively popular multimedia franchise has struck a “global distribution…

Trump’s Hush Money Appeal Gets the Old Razzle Dazzle Rejection
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Hush Money Appeal Gets the Old Razzle Dazzle Rejection

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A federal judge, Alvin Hellerstein, has denied President Donald Trump’s request…

Trump’s Presidential Rankings Are Totally Not Biased At All
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Presidential Rankings Are Totally Not Biased At All

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump is at it again, and this time he’s…

Rhino rereleases same Black Sabbath albums for 12th time because you clearly didnt buy them enough already
Breaking, Music News

Rhino rereleases same Black Sabbath albums for 12th time because you clearly didnt buy them enough already

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some earth-shattering news? 🤯 I mean, I can barely contain my excitement… 😴…

Clutch blesses us with another song to play at our impending midlife crises
Breaking, Music News

Clutch blesses us with another song to play at our impending midlife crises

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some news that’s been a long time coming? 🤯 CLUTCH has finally released…

Warsh Under Pressure To Reveal Master Plan
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Warsh Under Pressure To Reveal Master Plan

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Federal Reserve Chairman Kevin Warsh is being super coy about when…

Squadron 42 delayed to 2027 due to GTA VI’s probable perfection deadline
Breaking, Games News

Squadron 42 delayed to 2027 due to GTA VI’s probable perfection deadline

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

The delay train keeps on rolling, folks, and this time it’s Cloud Imperium Games’ turn to announce that their highly…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 99 100 101 … 673 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Clarifies Iran Nuke Threat With gibberish
  • Spin of the Day: A reporter explored online sports betting on DraftKings to assess its safety measures. — 7% Mostly Reality
  • American Airlines Flight Makes Emergency Landing Due To Broken Toilets
  • Delta Plane Just Bumps Into Another One Because Who Needs Space
  • Hollywood Legend Eva Marie Saint Passes Away At 102

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.