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Category: Breaking

DEEP PURPLE Finally Decides to Release Music That Matches Their Ego with New Single ‘Arrogant Boy’ from Their Obviously Genius Album ‘Splat’
Breaking, Music News

DEEP PURPLE Finally Decides to Release Music That Matches Their Ego with New Single ‘Arrogant Boy’ from Their Obviously Genius Album ‘Splat’

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2026May 12, 2026

Get ready to rock out with the legendary DEEP PURPLE, as they release their brand-new album “Splat!” on July 3…

Ahsoka Finally Decides to Get Off the Couch and Announce Season 2 After Making Us Wait Forever
Breaking, Movie News

Ahsoka Finally Decides to Get Off the Couch and Announce Season 2 After Making Us Wait Forever

FinnMay 12, 2026May 12, 2026

After waiting for what felt like an eternity, the second season of Ahsoka is finally on its way to Disney+,…

Breaking News: MÖTLEY CRÜE Sells Out to Country Music and Joins Forces with Carrie Underwood for Most Unholy Union Since Peanut Butter and Pickles
Breaking, Music News

Breaking News: MÖTLEY CRÜE Sells Out to Country Music and Joins Forces with Carrie Underwood for Most Unholy Union Since Peanut Butter and Pickles

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2026May 12, 2026

This is going to be a wild ride, folks! 🎢 MÖTLEY CRÜE, the most iconic rock band of all time…

OMG You Guys New Counter-Strike 2 Skins are Coming in May 2026 and They’re Probably Going to Break the Bank and Your Social Life
Breaking, Games News

OMG You Guys New Counter-Strike 2 Skins are Coming in May 2026 and They’re Probably Going to Break the Bank and Your Social Life

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 12, 2026May 12, 2026

The skin market for Counter-Strike 2 was on fire in May 2026, and I’m not just saying that because I’m…

The Testament of Ann Lee hits Disney+ because what every kid needs is a healthy dose of 18th century Shaker history to go along with their Mickey Mouse waffles
Breaking, Movie News

The Testament of Ann Lee hits Disney+ because what every kid needs is a healthy dose of 18th century Shaker history to go along with their Mickey Mouse waffles

FinnMay 12, 2026May 12, 2026

Get ready for the most epic, life-changing, and downright spiritual experience of your life: The Testament of Ann Lee is…

Certainly eBay’s brilliant move against failing GameStop
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Certainly eBay’s brilliant move against failing GameStop

Big ElephantMay 12, 2026May 12, 2026

The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to undermine the greatness of our beloved President Donald Trump, who is…

Nick Heyward Forced to Relive Glorious 80s Hairdo for The 12 Dates of Christmas Tour Because His Pension Fund is Empty
🎉 Breaking News: Nick Heyward Announces 2026 UK Tour, Because You Clearly Didn't Have Enough Christmas Music in Your Life Already 🎄
Breaking, Events, Music News

Nick Heyward Forced to Relive Glorious 80s Hairdo for The 12 Dates of Christmas Tour Because His Pension Fund is Empty

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2026May 12, 2026

Okay, folks, gather ’round! 👥 Nick Heyward, the legendary frontman of Haircut One Hundred, has just announced a brand new…

LEGO Is Desperately Trying To Drain Your Wallet Again With A Ridiculously Expensive Minas Tirith To Celebrate 25 Years Of You Wasting Money On Plastic Bricks
Breaking News: LEGO Icons Just Released the Most Epic The Lord of the Rings Set Ever, and We're Totally Geeked! 🤩
Breaking, Games News

LEGO Is Desperately Trying To Drain Your Wallet Again With A Ridiculously Expensive Minas Tirith To Celebrate 25 Years Of You Wasting Money On Plastic Bricks

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 12, 2026May 12, 2026

LEGO Icons has just unveiled The Lord of the Rings: Minas Tirith – 25th Anniversary Legacy Collection, a celebration of…

Sega Suddenly Realizes It Has No Idea What a “Super Game” Is and Quietly Backs Away While Clutching Its Precious Sonic Reboots for Dear Life
The Sega Saga: A Tale of Cancelled Games and Rebooted Dreams 🤣
Breaking, Games News

Sega Suddenly Realizes It Has No Idea What a “Super Game” Is and Quietly Backs Away While Clutching Its Precious Sonic Reboots for Dear Life

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 12, 2026May 12, 2026

It’s time to sound the alarm, folks! Sega, the legendary game developer, has just dropped a bombshell that’s left gamers…

Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong with a Remake of a Show About Robots Rising Up to Kill Humans Written by the Guy Who Made Dinosaurs Eat Lawyers
Breaking, Movie News

Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong with a Remake of a Show About Robots Rising Up to Kill Humans Written by the Guy Who Made Dinosaurs Eat Lawyers

FinnMay 11, 2026May 11, 2026

Because the world was just missing a Westworld reboot, and we all needed another opportunity to relive the thrill of…

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Latest posts

  • GenAI is Coming to Ruin Your Compliance Program and Make You Attend More Meetings for FREE CEU’s
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Rave of Your Life Because The Chosen Few Djs are Taking Over Navy Pier and Its Actually Free
  • Nicole Lehmann ist offensichtlich total besessen von KI
  • Megan Follows Totally Not an Impersonator Speaking at LM Montgomery Institute on June 27 2026
  • WARRANT’s ERIK TURNER Totally Not Embarrassed That ‘Cherry Pie’ Is Now Associated with Horny College Kids Instead of Just Horny Old People

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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