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Category: Breaking

OMG! Bone Temple Trailer: Dr. Kelson vs Jimmy Crystal – 28 Years of Awkwardness
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! Bone Temple Trailer: Dr. Kelson vs Jimmy Crystal – 28 Years of Awkwardness

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sony Pictures just dropped the *second* trailer for 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, and let’s be real,…

STUDIOCANAL, Heyday Films and Sanrio Announce Cinematic Disasterpiece: Mr Men Little Miss Feature Film, Prepare to Cringe
Breaking, Movie News

STUDIOCANAL, Heyday Films and Sanrio Announce Cinematic Disasterpiece: Mr Men Little Miss Feature Film, Prepare to Cringe

FinnDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 STUDIOCANAL, Heyday Films, and Mister Men Limited (aka Sanrio’s red-headed stepchild 🧑‍🦰) are actually making a Mr. Men…

PANTERA: Fully Authorized Photo Book Coming Spring 2026 (If You Actually Care)
Breaking, Music News

PANTERA: Fully Authorized Photo Book Coming Spring 2026 (If You Actually Care)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Oh, great. Just what the world needed: another “Pantera” (but not really) cash-grab coffee table book from Rufus Publications, featuring…

Samsung’s Atomic Move: Melds Fallout Wasteland with Your Couch Potato Existence
Breaking, Movie News

Samsung’s Atomic Move: Melds Fallout Wasteland with Your Couch Potato Existence

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🤩 Samsung, in its infinite wisdom (or maybe just a desperate attempt to stay…

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 Cast? More Like “Expedition Who?” Nobody Cares, Says Cox In Mo-Cap Snub
Breaking, Games News

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 Cast? More Like “Expedition Who?” Nobody Cares, Says Cox In Mo-Cap Snub

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Charlie Cox, bless his heart, thinks the jiggly dudes in motion capture suits deserve some credit for Clair…

GOP Senator Thinks Hegseth Is Either a Big Fat Liar or Just Plain Dumb, LOL
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Senator Thinks Hegseth Is Either a Big Fat Liar or Just Plain Dumb, LOL

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Another day, another Deep State conspiracy! These RINO Republicans and the radical Democrats are at it again, folks, trying to…

Costco vs Trump: A Warehouse War of Epic Proportions
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Costco vs Trump: A Warehouse War of Epic Proportions

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Well, well, well, look who’s decided to show their true colors! Costco, that bastion of bulk bargains, is now suing…

Larry Summers Gets Cancelled (Like We Didn’t See That Coming)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Larry Summers Gets Cancelled (Like We Didn’t See That Coming)

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Another one bites the dust! Looks like the swamp monster Larry Summers, former Clinton crony and Harvard bigwig, is finally…

Republicans Hilariously Backpedal Faster Than a Roadrunner on the Double-Tap Debacle | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Republicans Hilariously Backpedal Faster Than a Roadrunner on the Double-Tap Debacle | CNN Politics

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The liberal media (aka CNN, or as I like to call them, the Communist News…

Guillermo Del Toro Throws Shade at AI Art, Declares War on Robots in Hollywood
Breaking, Movie News

Guillermo Del Toro Throws Shade at AI Art, Declares War on Robots in Hollywood

FinnDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Guillermo del Toro, the cinematic genius (or so he thinks 🙄), took a break from patting himself on the back…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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