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Category: Breaking

LINKIN PARK’s Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell Thinks Comeback’s a Smash Hit, Says Gigs Didn’t Suck Too Bad
Breaking, Music News

LINKIN PARK’s Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell Thinks Comeback’s a Smash Hit, Says Gigs Didn’t Suck Too Bad

Chord F. DiscordNovember 30, 2025November 30, 2025

Yo, what up, fellow numb-nuts? 👋 It’s your boy, Dave “Phoenix” Farrell, here to drop some truth bombs about LINKIN…

US Lies | Clown News Network
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Lies | Clown News Network

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Rahm Emanuel, swamp creature extraordinaire, sheds crocodile tears after National Guard mishap. Is this another deep state plot to undermine…

College Kid Gets Kicked Out of US After Trying to Surprise His Fam for Turkey Day, Judge’s Orders Be Damned
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

College Kid Gets Kicked Out of US After Trying to Surprise His Fam for Turkey Day, Judge’s Orders Be Damned

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, oh, the Honduranity! Another sob story from the Fake News CNN, folks. A…

Netflix’s ‘Assassin’s Creed’ Finds Its Poor Soul, Set to Film in Pizza Land
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Netflix’s ‘Assassin’s Creed’ Finds Its Poor Soul, Set to Film in Pizza Land

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Oh, great, another Assassin’s Creed adaptation! 🙄 Because the movie wasn’t a colossal dumpster fire 🔥 enough, Netflix has decided…

Trump’s ‘Very Soon’ Venezuela Smackdown: Drug Cartels Beware (Or Not)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s ‘Very Soon’ Venezuela Smackdown: Drug Cartels Beware (Or Not)

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is about to clean up the Venezuelan swamp! It’s about time we stopped these…

Park Chan-wook’s “No Other Choice” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Slightly Bent (Maybe)
Breaking, Movie News

Park Chan-wook’s “No Other Choice” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Slightly Bent (Maybe)

FinnNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

MUBI, bless their cotton socks, has graced us with a new UK trailer and artwork for BAFTA Award-winner 🙄🙄🙄 Park…

Atreyu’s Brandon Saller: “We’re Not Political, We Just Accidentally Wrote Songs That Sound Political, Whoops”
Breaking, Music News

Atreyu’s Brandon Saller: “We’re Not Political, We Just Accidentally Wrote Songs That Sound Political, Whoops”

Chord F. DiscordNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

So, Ore Bihovsky from TotalRock’s “Louder” show decided to grace ATREYU vocalist Brandon Saller with a question of utmost importance:…

Wolfie Plays All The Instruments Himself Because Apparently He Doesn’t Trust Anyone Else In The World
Breaking, Music News

Wolfie Plays All The Instruments Himself Because Apparently He Doesn’t Trust Anyone Else In The World

Chord F. DiscordNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

In a new interview with Cutter’s Rockcast, So, apparently, this dude Wolfgang Van Halen, the mastermind behind MAMMOTH WVH, thinks…

Passenger Planes About to Become Unmanned Aerial Vehicles Thanks to the Sun, Oops
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Passenger Planes About to Become Unmanned Aerial Vehicles Thanks to the Sun, Oops

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Globalist Airbus Planes PLOT to Fall From Sky Thanks to Solar Flares! Is This Another Deep State Attack on American…

Trump’s Got a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card for His Drug Lord BFF Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Got a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card for His Drug Lord BFF Now

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Here we go again, folks! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom (and after consulting with VERY smart people, believe me),…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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