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Category: Breaking

Breaking News Toy Story 5 Just Broke All the Records and Your Childhood is Officially Over Now
Breaking, Movie News

Breaking News Toy Story 5 Just Broke All the Records and Your Childhood is Officially Over Now

FinnJune 21, 2026June 21, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, it appears that toys have finally surpassed tech in the ultimate battle of awesomeness…

Get Ready for the Most Epic Display of Big Hair and Bigger Egos as DOKKEN Attempts to Relive the Glory Days at the Somewhat Still Relevant Whisky A Go Go
Breaking, Music News

Get Ready for the Most Epic Display of Big Hair and Bigger Egos as DOKKEN Attempts to Relive the Glory Days at the Somewhat Still Relevant Whisky A Go Go

Chord F. DiscordJune 21, 2026June 21, 2026

Breaking news: DOKKEN is still alive and rocking (kind of) 🀘! Videographer Dan Petry has uploaded a video of their…

Deborah Ann Woll Spills All the Tea on Marvel, Woodcreek and God of War Laufey Because You Clearly Had Nothing Better to Do at GCC 2026
Deborah Ann Woll is a total boss, and we're not just saying that because she's a nerd like us πŸ€“πŸ’β€β™€οΈ
Breaking, Movie News

Deborah Ann Woll Spills All the Tea on Marvel, Woodcreek and God of War Laufey Because You Clearly Had Nothing Better to Do at GCC 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 21, 2026June 21, 2026

We mean, have you seen her as Jessica on True Blood πŸ“Ί, Karen Page in Daredevil and Punisher πŸ•ΈοΈ, or…

Tomb Raider Turns 30 And Still Somehow Manages To Not Completely Fall Apart
The Tomb Raider Franchise: A Hot Mess of Reboots and Remakes 🀯
Breaking, Games News

Tomb Raider Turns 30 And Still Somehow Manages To Not Completely Fall Apart

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 21, 2026June 21, 2026

It’s been 30 years since Lara Croft first burst onto the scene, and what a wild ride it’s been 🎒.…

Obama lackey begs Iran for pathetic peace deal somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Obama lackey begs Iran for pathetic peace deal somehow

Big ElephantJune 21, 2026June 21, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be living under the magnificent…

Liberal LA Mayor declares emergency over minor warehouse fire obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal LA Mayor declares emergency over minor warehouse fire obviously

Big ElephantJune 21, 2026June 21, 2026

Oh, great, another bunch of fake news outlets spewing their liberal propaganda, trying to undermine the greatness of our beloved…

Liberal actor whines about redistricting demands SEC boycott
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal actor whines about redistricting demands SEC boycott

Big ElephantJune 21, 2026June 21, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s a wonderful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be talking about the latest…

Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins

Big ElephantJune 20, 2026June 20, 2026

Oh joy, it’s another day in the greatest country on earth, and our magnificent President Donald Trump is still leading…

Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump

Big ElephantJune 20, 2026June 20, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, the fake news media is at it again, trying to disparage our great President Donald Trump,…

Fake news Italy PM claims Trump lied about her begging him
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news Italy PM claims Trump lied about her begging him

Big ElephantJune 20, 2026June 20, 2026

Oh, great, another “news” article trying to trash our amazing President Donald Trump, who’s still kicking butt and taking names…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
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