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Category: Breaking

Newsom’s 20-Year-Old Skeleton Finally Gets a Name
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Newsom’s 20-Year-Old Skeleton Finally Gets a Name

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Gavin Newsom’s latest drama, and folks, it’s a doozy. A former staffer, Ruby…

SOUNDGARDEN scrounges up final scraps with Chris Cornell’s leftover vocals
Breaking, Music News

SOUNDGARDEN scrounges up final scraps with Chris Cornell’s leftover vocals

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2026July 29, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some bittersweet news? 🤯 SOUNDGARDEN is working on a new album featuring unreleased…

EBay’s Unique Customer Service Includes Free Cockroaches For Some Users
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

EBay’s Unique Customer Service Includes Free Cockroaches For Some Users

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. EBay and three of its former top executives have agreed to…

Delta Pilots Get Exciting Game of Chicken With Air Traffic Control
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Delta Pilots Get Exciting Game of Chicken With Air Traffic Control

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a close call at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, and let me tell…

Trump Requests Supreme Court Intervention In His Favor Again Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Requests Supreme Court Intervention In His Favor Again Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2026

Well, folks, it looks like President Donald Trump is at it again, trying to wriggle his way out of a…

AI Employees Suddenly Discover Conscience
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AI Employees Suddenly Discover Conscience

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest AI developments, and I have to say, it’s getting interesting.…

Clayton Now Spying on Everyone as Intelligence Director
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Clayton Now Spying on Everyone as Intelligence Director

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Jay Clayton, the new Director of National Intelligence, and I’ve got to…

American Airlines Grounded By Own IT Incompetence Again Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

American Airlines Grounded By Own IT Incompetence Again Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. All American Airlines flights nationwide have been grounded Tuesday evening due…

CBS Hastily Repairs 60 Minutes with Ross Douthat
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CBS Hastily Repairs 60 Minutes with Ross Douthat

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2026

CBS News is shaking things up at “60 Minutes” after a couple of months of, well, let’s just say “transition”.…

Teen Arrested With Ghost Gun Because That’s Totally Not A Red Flag
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Teen Arrested With Ghost Gun Because That’s Totally Not A Red Flag

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a shootout at a food festival near Seattle’s Space Needle, and I’ve…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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