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Category: Breaking

Assassin’s Creed Shadows and Attack on Titan Had a Baby and It’s a Free Quest, OMG
Breaking, Games News

Assassin’s Creed Shadows and Attack on Titan Had a Baby and It’s a Free Quest, OMG

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Oh, honey, hold my sake! 🍢 Ubisoft, bless their little corporate hearts, is at it again, unleashing what they’re calling…

Sex Pistols (feat geriatric Frank Carter) Announce ’50 Years Of Punk (lol)’ Celebration Shows For Summer 2026 (if they’re still alive)
Breaking, Music News

Sex Pistols (feat geriatric Frank Carter) Announce ’50 Years Of Punk (lol)’ Celebration Shows For Summer 2026 (if they’re still alive)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

🚨 Breaking News! 🚨 The SEX PISTOLS, now featuring the punk rock god Frank Carter (because, let’s face it, someone…

‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)

FinnNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Alright, listen up, true believers! 🀑 We all KNOW Spider-Man: Brand New Day is, like, TOTALLY set in the gritty,…

James Cameron dives deep into Billie Eilish’s 3D concert – will it be longer than Avatar
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

James Cameron dives deep into Billie Eilish’s 3D concert – will it be longer than Avatar

FinnNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Oh, dear God, someone stop James Cameron! πŸ›‘ I thought slaving away on those never-ending Avatar sequels (how many are…

Stranger Things 5 Vol 1 Trailer: Prepare to be mildly whelmed
Breaking, Movie News

Stranger Things 5 Vol 1 Trailer: Prepare to be mildly whelmed

FinnNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Oh boy, are you READY for more Stranger Things?! πŸ™„ Because Netflix clearly thinks we haven’t had enough of this…

AIRBOURNE’s New Single ‘Christmas Bonus’ & European Tour: Get Ready to Rock Your Socks Off (and Maybe Get Some Coal)
Breaking, Music News

AIRBOURNE’s New Single ‘Christmas Bonus’ & European Tour: Get Ready to Rock Your Socks Off (and Maybe Get Some Coal)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Australian geriatric rockers AIRBOURNE, allegedly still kicking (barely), have bestowed upon their dwindling fanbase – the naughty, the nice, and…

Laura Poitras and Mark Obenhaus are at it again with ANOTHER documentary trailer: Cover-Up
Breaking, Movie News

Laura Poitras and Mark Obenhaus are at it again with ANOTHER documentary trailer: Cover-Up

FinnNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

OMG! 🚨 You guys are *not* going to believe this. Another documentary? Seriously? πŸ™„ It’s called “Cover-Up,” and apparently, it’s…

‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Hollywood elites are at it again, folks! “Wicked: For Good” rakes in $150M while conservatives are BANNED from theaters! Is…

Slender Woman Gets Lost in Wisconsin: A Comedy of Errors
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Slender Woman Gets Lost in Wisconsin: A Comedy of Errors

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another feel-good story courtesy of the liberal loony bin. A woman, coddled by our “justice”…

Wall Street Freaks Out Over Zillow Hack: Is Your McMansion Data Safe?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wall Street Freaks Out Over Zillow Hack: Is Your McMansion Data Safe?

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Oh, the Horror! Wall Street Data Breach – Probably Hillary’s Emails, Again! I bet it was Crooked Hillary again. Or…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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