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Category: Breaking

NYC Council Kicks De Blasio’s Dumb Carriage Ban to the Curb, Horses Celebrate with Victory Gallop
Breaking: Liberal Loonies Fail to Ban Central Park Horse Carriages! Another Victory for Freedom!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Council Kicks De Blasio’s Dumb Carriage Ban to the Curb, Horses Celebrate with Victory Gallop

Big ElephantNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

New York, folks, is still clinging to a shred of sanity! The radical left’s latest attempt to cancel a beloved…

Sharon Osbourne Nukes Geezer Butler’s Grandma’s Attic Tapes: A Legal Thriller
Breaking, Music News

Sharon Osbourne Nukes Geezer Butler’s Grandma’s Attic Tapes: A Legal Thriller

Chord F. DiscordNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups ☕, because Sharon Osbourne, bless her perpetually youthful heart (and face 😜), has graced us with…

‘Star Trek’ Finally Crawls Out of Its Grave for Another Reboot
Breaking, Movie News

‘Star Trek’ Finally Crawls Out of Its Grave for Another Reboot

FinnNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

🤣 Oh, sweet Jesus, they’re STILL trying to make another Star Trek movie? It’s been a whole DECADE since they last boldly…

Red Cross Teams Up With Pill-Popping Ghost-Dodger To Fuel Holiday Blood Drive
Breaking, Games News

Red Cross Teams Up With Pill-Popping Ghost-Dodger To Fuel Holiday Blood Drive

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

OMG! 🚨 The Red Cross, bless their cotton socks (which, incidentally, you can get for FREE!), is teaming up with…

Target’s Target Problem: When Woke Backfires Hilariously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Target’s Target Problem: When Woke Backfires Hilariously

Big ElephantNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Oh, no! Looks like Target is now too woke for the woke! Seems even the perpetually offended are realizing that…

Smerconish on Epstein files: ‘Resisting the urge to speculate is for losers’ | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Smerconish on Epstein files: ‘Resisting the urge to speculate is for losers’ | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Oh, the Left is sweating! More Epstein emails surfacing? You just know there’s a whole cabal of Democrat elites and…

CNN Asks the REAL Questions: Trump, Epstein, and a Very Quiet Puppy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks the REAL Questions: Trump, Epstein, and a Very Quiet Puppy

Big ElephantNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! They dug up some old emails from that scumbag Epstein where he badmouths…

Adriana Kugler, Ex-Fed Bigwig, Oopsie-Doopsied Her Way Through Trading Rules, CNN Sniffs Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Adriana Kugler, Ex-Fed Bigwig, Oopsie-Doopsied Her Way Through Trading Rules, CNN Sniffs Out

Big ElephantNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Busted! Crooked Kugler, a Biden appointee, caught red-handed breaking Fed rules with her shady stock trades.…

Horizon Steel Frontiers: An MMORPG Masterpiece Grazing Your Phones (Not Your PS5, Sorry)
Breaking, Games News

Horizon Steel Frontiers: An MMORPG Masterpiece Grazing Your Phones (Not Your PS5, Sorry)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 14, 2025November 14, 2025

Behold, peasants! At the illustrious G-Star 2025, NCSOFT, in their infinite wisdom 🧠, has bestowed upon us a new global…

Rockstar Devs Throw Tantrum After Management Axe Some Slackers
Breaking, Games News

Rockstar Devs Throw Tantrum After Management Axe Some Slackers

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 14, 2025November 14, 2025

Oh, the drama! 🎭 More than 200 Rockstar North staffers, bless their cotton socks, are clutching their pearls 🦪 and…

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Latest posts

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  • How AI Is Secretly Controlling Your Streaming and Gaming Experiences and You’re Probably Too Dumb to Notice

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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