Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

Emma Thompson and Judy Greer star in “Dead of Winter,” a thriller that’s probably not as thrilling as doing your taxes
Breaking, Movie News

Emma Thompson and Judy Greer star in “Dead of Winter,” a thriller that’s probably not as thrilling as doing your taxes

FinnAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Oh, honey, get ready for the most groundbreaking cinematic masterpiece of 2025! ๐Ÿ™„ It’s about a woman, Barb (played by…

5 MMO Features So Good, They’ll Steal Your Life Savings and Social Life
Breaking, Games News

5 MMO Features So Good, They’ll Steal Your Life Savings and Social Life

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round for some *totally* unbiased truths about why you’re still wasting your lives in MMOs. ๐Ÿ™„ We’re…

SEX PISTOLS’ ‘Never Mind The Bollocks’ Reissue: As If You Didn’t Already Own It
Breaking, Music News

SEX PISTOLS’ ‘Never Mind The Bollocks’ Reissue: As If You Didn’t Already Own It

Chord F. DiscordAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

“Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols”, an album that apparently “rewired” 20 years of rock in under 40…

Soulfly Drops Another Banger: ‘Chama’ Album & ‘Storm The Gates’ Single โ€“ Prepare for Tribal Groove Overload
Breaking, Music News

Soulfly Drops Another Banger: ‘Chama’ Album & ‘Storm The Gates’ Single โ€“ Prepare for Tribal Groove Overload

Chord F. DiscordAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

SOULFLY, those elder statesmen ofโ€ฆ uhโ€ฆ extreme metal (?), are gracing us with their thirteenth studio album, “Chama”, dropping on…

MUDVAYNE Drops ‘Hurt People Hurt People’ After Century-Long Hiatus, Proving They Still Know How To Spell ‘Edgy’
Breaking, Music News

MUDVAYNE Drops ‘Hurt People Hurt People’ After Century-Long Hiatus, Proving They Still Know How To Spell ‘Edgy’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Well, well, well, look who crawled out of whatever primordial ooze they were marinating in โ€“ it’s MUDVAYNE! ๐Ÿคก They’ve…

Ice Nine Kills Announces ‘Silver Scream Con London’ – Prepare for Ear Piercings and Bank Account Bleeding
Breaking, Events, Music News

Ice Nine Kills Announces ‘Silver Scream Con London’ – Prepare for Ear Piercings and Bank Account Bleeding

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

๐Ÿคก So, after gracing the U.S. with their oh-so-successful four years of… something… ICE NINE KILLS is unleashing Silver Scream…

Marvel Multiverse: So Easy, Even Your Grandma Can Understand It (Spoiler: She Won’t)
Breaking, Movie News

Marvel Multiverse: So Easy, Even Your Grandma Can Understand It (Spoiler: She Won’t)

FinnAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Hey, Marvel Zombies! ๐ŸงŸโ€โ™‚๏ธ Prepare to have your tiny minds blown! ๐Ÿคฏ Everything you *thought* you knew about the sacred…

Miss May I? More Like Miss May Cry: New Single ‘Pray For Silence’ Is Out Now (Prepare to Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

Miss May I? More Like Miss May Cry: New Single ‘Pray For Silence’ Is Out Now (Prepare to Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

MISS MAY I, those stalwarts of Ohio metalcore that you *totally* remember from 2010, are STILL churning out “music.” Yes,…

Gamescom 2025: Vampire: The Masquerade โ€” Bloodlines 2 Gameplay: Still Not a Complete Disaster, Surprisingly
Breaking, Music News

Gamescom 2025: Vampire: The Masquerade โ€” Bloodlines 2 Gameplay: Still Not a Complete Disaster, Surprisingly

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

OMG ๐Ÿ˜ฑ, has it REALLY been “forever” since we saw Vampire: The Masquerade โ€” Bloodlines 2? Like, I’m pretty sure…

HONOR’s Magic V5: So Thin It Might Disappear, Now with Enough AI to Order Pizza For You, Europe’s So Lucky
Breaking

HONOR’s Magic V5: So Thin It Might Disappear, Now with Enough AI to Order Pizza For You, Europe’s So Lucky

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Oh, look, another foldable phone! ๐Ÿ™„ HONOR, who? Apparently, they’ve graced us with the Magic V5, which theyโ€™re calling “the…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 272 273 274 … 381 Next

Latest posts

  • Backrooms and Obsession Totally Not Made by Nerds in Their Basement Floor Beat Mandalorian and Grogu Because Who Needs Cute Baby Yoda Anyway
  • OMG 007 First Light Sells a Whopping 1.5 Million Copies in 24 Hours Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway IOI Already Drooling Over Your Money for the First Content Update
  • ALICE COOPER Rips A.I to Shreds Because Apparently His Music Wasnt Robotic Enough Already
  • When the bassist insists on doing vocals too ๐ŸŽค
  • Because You Clearly Need More Brunch and Day Parties in Your Life, DJ CLUE is Here to Save Sunday

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Todayโ€™s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright ยฉ 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}