Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

Games Workshop Stops Scalping Limited Siege of Terra By Becoming the Scalper
Breaking, Games News

Games Workshop Stops Scalping Limited Siege of Terra By Becoming the Scalper

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Ah, Games Workshop, those magnificent overlords of plastic crack and lore so dense it could collapse into a black hole…

‘One of Them Days’ Sequel: Prepare for More Existential Dread
Breaking, Movie News

‘One of Them Days’ Sequel: Prepare for More Existential Dread

FinnJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, great, more Keke Palmer and SZA. 🙄 Because we *totally* needed a sequel to ‘One of Them Days.’ I…

Sam Bam Koltun’s EXCELLENT Godsmack Adventure: Gratitude Overload
Breaking, Music News

Sam Bam Koltun’s EXCELLENT Godsmack Adventure: Gratitude Overload

Chord F. DiscordJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

So, apparently, Sam Bam Koltun (yes, that’s his real name, I Googled it 🙄) of DOROTHY, FASTER PUSSYCAT (lol, who?),…

Ex-ICED EARTH Members (Who?) Drop New Single, Prepare for World to Continue Not Caring
Breaking, Music News

Ex-ICED EARTH Members (Who?) Drop New Single, Prepare for World to Continue Not Caring

Chord F. DiscordJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

ASHES OF ARES, the U.S. “heavy” metal duo featuring ex-ICED EARTH rejects Matt Barlow and Freddie Vidales, is gracing us…

PAPA ROACH Doodles ‘Bout Five, Six Songs; New Single This Month (Maybe)
Breaking, Music News

PAPA ROACH Doodles ‘Bout Five, Six Songs; New Single This Month (Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with the intellectual powerhouses at Skratch N’ Sniff and SNSMix.com, PAPA ROACH‘s supreme leader, Jacoby Shaddix,…

Onimusha: Way of the Sword – Capcom Finally Found Their Sword After All These Years?
Breaking, Games News

Onimusha: Way of the Sword – Capcom Finally Found Their Sword After All These Years?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

During a “hands-off” presentation (because nobody trusts gamers, amirite?) at Summer Games Fest, Onimusha: Way of the Sword *quietly* emerged…

Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ Gets Two Billion Views: Are You Really That Bored
Breaking, Music News

Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ Gets Two Billion Views: Are You Really That Bored

Chord F. DiscordJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Did you hear?! NIRVANA’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” music video FINALLY crawled its way to two billion views…

BUCKCHERRY’s JOSH TODD: Sober? More Like Sobering-ly Boring, Am I Right?
Breaking, Music News

BUCKCHERRY’s JOSH TODD: Sober? More Like Sobering-ly Boring, Am I Right?

Chord F. DiscordJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Josh Todd from BUCKCHERRY, still clinging to relevance by talking about his sobriety 🙄. In a recent…

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3+4 Demo: Nailed It or Failed It? You Decide!
Breaking, Games News

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3+4 Demo: Nailed It or Failed It? You Decide!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Okay, so Activision thought they could just slap a fresh coat of paint on Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3+4 and…

Paul Stanley’s Super Official Totally Not Biased Ranking of the Only KISS Albums That Matter, According to Him
Breaking, Music News

Paul Stanley’s Super Official Totally Not Biased Ranking of the Only KISS Albums That Matter, According to Him

Chord F. DiscordJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

In a groundbreaking, earth-shattering, paradigm-shifting interview with Justin Richmond of the Broken Record podcast, the one, the only, the Starchild…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 330 331 332 … 378 Next

Latest posts

  • ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It
  • SBC Approves Use Of Tasers On Any Visitor Who Tries To Slip Past Greeters
  • When your parents ask what kind of music you listen to
  • Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids
  • Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of Humanity 

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}