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Category: Breaking

Tim Sweeney Throws a Hissy Fit Over Claims Mouse House Is Milking Fortnite Slower Than a Three-Legged Cow
Breaking, Movie News

Tim Sweeney Throws a Hissy Fit Over Claims Mouse House Is Milking Fortnite Slower Than a Three-Legged Cow

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 5, 2025August 5, 2025

Oh, no they didn’t! 😱 Looks like someone at The Wall Street Journal decided to stir the pot 🍲 by…

Ella McCay: Witness the Hilarious Clusterf*ck Starring Emma Mackey, Jamie Lee Curtis, and a Whole Damn Comedy Posse
Breaking, Movie News

Ella McCay: Witness the Hilarious Clusterf*ck Starring Emma Mackey, Jamie Lee Curtis, and a Whole Damn Comedy Posse

FinnAugust 5, 2025August 5, 2025

Oh, look, another movie about a woman trying to do it all! 🙄 Because we haven’t seen that, like, a…

Ralph Fiennes sings? Oh Lord, help us all
Breaking, Movie News

Ralph Fiennes sings? Oh Lord, help us all

FinnAugust 5, 2025August 5, 2025

1916. World War I is raging, and apparently, the most pressing issue isn’t global conflict, but the Ramsden, Yorkshire Choral…

Paramount+ Canada in August 2025: A Whole Lotta Nothing, Eh
Breaking, Movie News

Paramount+ Canada in August 2025: A Whole Lotta Nothing, Eh

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

Another month, another excuse for Paramount+ to flex its incredibly average library on us Canadians 🇨🇦. Get ready for August…

Joe Bonamassa Says Ozzy’s Guitarists Aren’t Just Random Dudes He Picked Up at the Gas Station
Breaking, Music News

Joe Bonamassa Says Ozzy’s Guitarists Aren’t Just Random Dudes He Picked Up at the Gas Station

Chord F. DiscordAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

The day after Ozzy Osbourne allegedly kicked the bucket 🪣 (or, you know, “passed away” according to the overly sensitive),…

KORN’s Head Gets Deep: Life’s Fleeting, Bro
Breaking, Music News

KORN’s Head Gets Deep: Life’s Fleeting, Bro

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

KORN guitarist Brian “Head” Welch, the dude who once traded his dreads for devotion, is back with another profound video…

Josey Scott Sassily Sips Tea Over SALIVA’s Identity Crisis: ‘Honey, It’s Just Not the Same Shade of Spit Anymore’
Breaking, Music News

Josey Scott Sassily Sips Tea Over SALIVA’s Identity Crisis: ‘Honey, It’s Just Not the Same Shade of Spit Anymore’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

In a recent sit-down with Rock 100.5 The KATT FM’s Cameron Buchholtz, Josey Scott, the OG throat-tickler of SALIVA, reminisced…

Steven Wilson Cries Bitter Tears Because Guns N’ Roses Said ‘NO WAY, DUDE’ to His Fancy Remix of ‘Use Your Illusion’ Albums: Apparently, Axl Rose Hates Surround Sound
Breaking, Music News

Steven Wilson Cries Bitter Tears Because Guns N’ Roses Said ‘NO WAY, DUDE’ to His Fancy Remix of ‘Use Your Illusion’ Albums: Apparently, Axl Rose Hates Surround Sound

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the tragedy! 😭 In a recent, heart-wrenching interview with Andrew McKaysmith of the incredibly influential Scars And Guitars podcast…

Andi Deris of HELLOWEEN Was SOOOO Concerned About OZZY’s Health 25 Years Ago, It Kept Him Up at Least 10 Minutes a Night
Breaking, Music News

Andi Deris of HELLOWEEN Was SOOOO Concerned About OZZY’s Health 25 Years Ago, It Kept Him Up at Least 10 Minutes a Night

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

In an EXCLUSIVE interview with Ernest Skinner of Canada’s *checks notes* Border City Rock Talk (never heard of it), HELLOWEEN…

Spider-Man’s New Duds: Tom Holland’s Got a Freshly-Squeezed Suit!
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man’s New Duds: Tom Holland’s Got a Freshly-Squeezed Suit!

FinnAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Are you READY for a Brand New Day? 🙄 Or, like, another Spider-Man costume that’s totally gonna revolutionize the cinematic…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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