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Category: Breaking

‘Crimson Tide 2: Electric Boogaloo’ Incoming
Breaking, Movie News

‘Crimson Tide 2: Electric Boogaloo’ Incoming

FinnJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, sweet Neptune’s beard! 🧜‍♂️ Jerry Bruckheimer, bless his octogenarian heart, is apparently smoking something stronger than sea kelp and…

Xiaomi’s Mix Flip 2: Finally, a Foldable That Won’t Break the Bank (Unless You Buy All the Accessories)
Breaking

Xiaomi’s Mix Flip 2: Finally, a Foldable That Won’t Break the Bank (Unless You Buy All the Accessories)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, honey, Xiaomi’s at it again. Just when you thought they couldn’t possibly cram more useless gadgets into our lives,…

Helldivers 2 Finally Crawls to Xbox (With Crossplay, No One Cares) This August
Breaking, Games News

Helldivers 2 Finally Crawls to Xbox (With Crossplay, No One Cares) This August

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, yes, Helldivers 2, the game that made everyone question their life choices while simultaneously screaming “FOR SUPER EARTH!” is…

Bruce Dickinson Dumps New ‘Gods Of War’ Track – Prepare for Maximum Picasso Ball-osity
Breaking

Bruce Dickinson Dumps New ‘Gods Of War’ Track – Prepare for Maximum Picasso Ball-osity

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

So, IRON MAIDEN’s very own air raid siren, Bruce Dickinson, is gracing us with a “reworked” version of his ’90s…

GHOST’s Tobias Forge Builds Metal Church: Prepare for ‘Skeletour’ of Utter Darkness and Questionable Architecture
Breaking, Music News

GHOST’s Tobias Forge Builds Metal Church: Prepare for ‘Skeletour’ of Utter Darkness and Questionable Architecture

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

GHOST, the *totally* underground Swedish rock band (yeah, right), is gracing the U.S. with its presence on the “Skeletour” world…

John Romero’s Daikatana 2: Electric Boogaloo Gets Axed, Gamers Rejoice (Maybe)
Breaking, Games News

John Romero’s Daikatana 2: Electric Boogaloo Gets Axed, Gamers Rejoice (Maybe)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, the humanity! 😭 Microsoft, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), has decided to wield the banhammer of budget…

The Gathering’s ‘Mandylion’ Reunion: Still Kicking (Barely) in the Netherlands
Breaking, Music News

The Gathering’s ‘Mandylion’ Reunion: Still Kicking (Barely) in the Netherlands

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, look, it’s THE GATHERING, dusting off their “Mandylion” album for a 30th-anniversary cash grab! 💰 Featuring the legendary (debatable)…

OMG! Marvel FLOP Now in Superman?! Gunn at it Again!
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! Marvel FLOP Now in Superman?! Gunn at it Again!

FinnJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

So, Superman director James Gunn, fresh from ruining Marvel, has decided to grace DC with his presence, and guess what?…

Alice Cooper, a Hall of Fame? More Like Hall of Lame
Breaking, Music News

Alice Cooper, a Hall of Fame? More Like Hall of Lame

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Alice Cooper, the guy who makes a living pretending to be scary, is apparently getting inducted into the Radio Hall…

Microsoft to fire thousands, Gamers not spared
Breaking

Microsoft to fire thousands, Gamers not spared

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oh, honey, hold onto your controllers! 🎮 Microsoft, the benevolent overlord of gaming, is at it again! Seems like those…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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