OMG! Leaked Lineup Claims a Cat Game is Headlining PS Plus? Seriously?

OMG! 😱 Did you hear?! Sony is gracing us, the unwashed masses, with Stray on PlayStation Plus Essential! Yes, the game about a cat. A CAT! 🐈‍⬛ Because apparently, we’re all just one step away from becoming crazy cat people. Prepare your couches for virtual claw marks! 🛋️

So, after a spooky October 🎃 filled with witches and jump scares, November is going to be all about… cats? Seriously? A “reliable leaker” (aka some dude on the internet 💻) says Stray is coming to PS Plus Essential. I bet that leaker owns at least six cats. Anyway, if you’re “Essential,” “Extra,” or “Premium” (ooh, fancy! ✨), you get to play as a digital feline. Lucky you. 🙄

Stray, in case you’ve been living under a rock 🪨 (or are allergic to the internet 🤧), is about a cat in a robot city. Because cats and robots are like, the BEST combination ever. 🤖+🐈=💖 The cat, being a cat, naturally wants to escape. Good luck with that, kitty. I’m sure the robots are just thrilled to have you shedding all over their metallic furniture. 🤖

Some “critic” (who probably gets paid in catnip 🌿) gave Stray an 8.5/10. 🤯 EIGHT. POINT. FIVE! What is this world coming to? Apparently, 10 hours of virtual cat shenanigans is peak gaming. I’d rather watch paint dry. 🎨 But hey, at least it’s a “unique twist” on adventure games. Because what says “adventure” more than a cat knocking stuff off shelves? 😼

And if you’re too lazy to even PLAY the cat game, they’re making a MOVIE! 🎬 Yes, an animated adaptation. Because we clearly need more cat content in our lives. More purring, more meowing, more virtual hairballs. 🤮 I can’t wait for the inevitable sequel: Stray 2: Electric Boogaloo. 😼

Apparently, Stray was super popular. 🙄 Like, “second-highest-rated game on Steam” popular. I’m starting to think humanity has lost its collective mind. 🤯 But hey, it won some awards! “Best Debut,” “Best Indie Game,” blah blah blah. Wake me up when it wins “Most Likely to Make You Question Your Life Choices.” 😴

But fear not, you can still grab October’s PS Plus games! 🥳 You know, the ones that AREN’T about cats. There’s Alan Wake 2 (finally a good game! 😌), Goat Simulator 3 (okay, maybe not), and… another Annapurna title? 🤨 Is Annapurna just trying to take over the world with indie games? 🌍 Well, at least it’s not another cat game. …Yet.

Pixel P. Snarkbyte

Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.

Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.

Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.