Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

ROG Xbox Ally & ROG Xbox Ally X: Prepare to Empty Your Wallets, Simps
Breaking, Games News

ROG Xbox Ally & ROG Xbox Ally X: Prepare to Empty Your Wallets, Simps

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 26, 2025September 26, 2025

Oh, great, another overpriced gadget from ASUS Republic of Gamers! 🙄 They’ve graced us with the pricing for the ROG…

Spooktacular: Prepare to be Mildly Spooked by This Documentary About America’s “First” (and Probably Last) Horror Theme Park
Breaking, Movie News

Spooktacular: Prepare to be Mildly Spooked by This Documentary About America’s “First” (and Probably Last) Horror Theme Park

FinnSeptember 26, 2025September 26, 2025

Oh, honey, get ready for the most terrifying thing you’ll see all year: a documentary about a theme park.😱 Spooktacular!,…

Violent Ends: Witness Billy Magnussen and a Bunch of Other People You’ve Mildly Heard Of in This Thrilling Trailer That Might End Violently (Maybe)
Breaking, Movie News

Violent Ends: Witness Billy Magnussen and a Bunch of Other People You’ve Mildly Heard Of in This Thrilling Trailer That Might End Violently (Maybe)

FinnSeptember 26, 2025September 26, 2025

Oh, look, another movie about a guy trying to escape his CRIME FAMILY! 🙄 Groundbreaking stuff, people! 🤯 This cinematic…

The Acacia Strain Drops New Music Video For ‘Swamp Mentality’ (Prepare for the Breakdown of Your Sanity)
Breaking, Music News

The Acacia Strain Drops New Music Video For ‘Swamp Mentality’ (Prepare for the Breakdown of Your Sanity)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 26, 2025September 26, 2025

THE ACACIA STRAIN – Vincent Bennett (still screaming into a mic after all these years); Devin Shidaker (probably shredding, maybe);…

OPETH Frontman Gets a Fancy Guitar: Is This Prog or Just a Midlife Crisis
Breaking, Music News

OPETH Frontman Gets a Fancy Guitar: Is This Prog or Just a Midlife Crisis

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 26, 2025September 26, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE what happened at the Guitar Summit in Mannheim, Germany! C.F. Martin & Co., those guys…

Mötley Crüe Throws a Party for 40 Years of ‘Theatre of Pain’ (Because Apparently, We Haven’t Suffered Enough)
Breaking, Music News

Mötley Crüe Throws a Party for 40 Years of ‘Theatre of Pain’ (Because Apparently, We Haven’t Suffered Enough)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 26, 2025September 26, 2025

MÖTLEY CRÜE, those geriatrics who somehow haven’t kicked the bucket yet, 👴🏻👵🏻 announced today a “special” 40th-anniversary limited-edition deluxe box…

Gerard Butler and Morena Baccarin, Still Alive, Still Dumb, and Still Searching for a Place to Live in ‘Greenland 2: Migration’ Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Gerard Butler and Morena Baccarin, Still Alive, Still Dumb, and Still Searching for a Place to Live in ‘Greenland 2: Migration’ Trailer

FinnSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Oh, sweet! Another disaster movie starring Gerard Butler? 🙄 You know, because the world *totally* needed a sequel to “Greenland.”…

Tom Keifer Reveals the Mind-Blowing Secret to Success: Simply Refuse to Quit
Breaking, Music News

Tom Keifer Reveals the Mind-Blowing Secret to Success: Simply Refuse to Quit

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

In a recent, earth-shattering 🤯 interview with Deanne Coffin (who???), CINDERELLA frontman Tom Keifer, now rebranded as a solo act…

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime
Breaking, Music News

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Well, well, well, what have we here? 🤪 On September 26, prepare yourselves for the auditory equivalent of decaf coffee:…

Ghost’s ‘Skeletour’ with PRG: Prepare for a Behind-the-Crypt Look (as if you care)
Breaking, Music News

Ghost’s ‘Skeletour’ with PRG: Prepare for a Behind-the-Crypt Look (as if you care)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

So, GHOST went on tour, called the “Skeletour”. You know, because calling it the “We Need More Money Tour” was…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 550 551 552 … 676 Next

Latest posts

  • Mostly Mesh in Charlotte, NC (10/07/2026)
  • Computer Kill in Charlotte, NC (10/07/2026)
  • Deceits in Charlotte, NC (10/07/2026)
  • Iowa Senate hopefuls exchange policy blows in thrilling snooze fest
  • Trump’s Ego Apparently Not Invited to Campaign Trail This Year

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.