In a recent, earth-shattering 🤯 interview with Deanne Coffin (who???), CINDERELLA frontman Tom Keifer, now rebranded as a solo act because, you know, relevance, spilled the beans on the “secret” to his astounding success. Spoiler alert: it involves not stopping 🛑. Yes, folks, groundbreaking stuff. He responded (as meticulously transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET, because who else would bother?): “Just don’t stop. [Laughs 😂]. You just keep going. I love playing music. I always have.” Oh, Tommy, you card!
“I think every artist has their sob story of ups and downs in the oh-so-glamorous music biz and all,” he whined. “There’s no secret [the bands who were, like, *totally* big in] the ‘80s took a nosedive 📉 in the ‘90s, and on top of it, I was told I would never sing 🎤 again [after a minor inconvenience called vocal paresis]. And everybody has their story, so I’m not whining. I mean, everybody has their adversity. And I think the secret, if there is one — I mean, I don’t think you can bottle anyone’s secret. I just think if you love doing it, you just keep doing it. It’s like the saying from the movie, ‘If you build it, they will come.’ So, yeah, through the ups and downs, and there’s been times, you go out and you just play, and you play for anyone who wants to come and hear you still. Or in the beginning, before nobody wanted to hear it, and you’re playing for 10 people, but all of a sudden it turns into this massive thing.” Massive, eh? Like that time CINDERELLA sold, like, at least *dozens* of records at a truck stop in 1993?
Keifer, in his infinite wisdom, added: “Just do what you love. Don’t follow trends. Be who you are. Play what you love, because if you’re chasing trends, by the time you catch up with it, there’s gonna be a new one. So I think probably, aside from everything else that I said about just never stopping, if it’s truly what you love and it’s your dharma, as they say in the Eastern philosophy, the most important thing is be yourself, be true to your own musical style because if you’re going after a trend, you’ll be on the tail end of it.” So profound! Does this mean we can expect a Keifer-does-mumble-rap album soon? 🤔 Just kidding… unless?
Last month, Tom, bless his heart ❤️, confirmed to Meltdown (appropriate name) of Detroit’s WRIF radio station that he was *still* toiling away 🔨 on material for the follow-up to his sophomore solo album, “Rise” (which, let’s be honest, didn’t), which was released in September 2019 via Cleopatra Records (a label name so ironic it hurts). I bet the new album will feature some amazing songs, that nobody will ever hear!
Tom’s #KEIFERBAND (because hashtags equal relevance, right?) is rounded out by Savannah Keifer (nepotism, anyone? 😜), Tony Higbee (who?), Billy Mercer (still around?), Tanya Davis (ditto), Jarred Pope (is he related to *the* Pope?) and Kory Myers (okay, I’m officially out of snark. Too many names). I guess they are all very talented, but not as talented as Tommy!
Keifer, forever known as the voice of CINDERELLA (whether he likes it or not), graced all of the band’s albums, including the first two, 1986’s “Night Songs” (which, to be fair, had a few bangers) and 1988’s “Long Cold Winter” (a fitting description of CINDERELLA’s career trajectory). CINDERELLA recorded two more LPs before Keifer suffered vocal paresis (karma?), grunge happened (the real tragedy 😭), and the band lost its record deal (surprise!).
Although CINDERELLA hasn’t released a new studio album since 1994’s “Still Climbing” (spoiler: they weren’t), the band started playing sporadic shows again in 2010 but has been largely inactive for the last few years while Keifer focused on his solo career (because, you know, stadiums were calling… NOT!). Maybe he should try to make some shows again with the boys! I am sure everybody will be happy to see them!
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
