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Category: Breaking

Vance Tries Not To Be Trump This Time Around Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vance Tries Not To Be Trump This Time Around Somehow

Big ElephantSeptember 11, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Republican midterm convention, and I have to say, it’s been a wild…

Because What Hollywood Needs Is More Unfinished Business
Breaking, Movie News

Because What Hollywood Needs Is More Unfinished Business

FinnSeptember 11, 2026September 11, 2026

There’s a certain risk that comes with making a film series — though the modern “franchise absolutely everything” model most…

TIFF 2026 Review: Because We Clearly Needed Another Overhyped Tech Conference with Free Food and Obligatory Networking Opportunities
Breaking, Movie News

TIFF 2026 Review: Because We Clearly Needed Another Overhyped Tech Conference with Free Food and Obligatory Networking Opportunities

FinnSeptember 11, 2026September 11, 2026

The Toronto International Film Festival is back, and it’s still trying to figure out this whole “innovation” thing 🤖! After…

Alice Cooper and Criss Angel combine powers to traumatize Vegas tourists with magic and music
Breaking, Music News

Alice Cooper and Criss Angel combine powers to traumatize Vegas tourists with magic and music

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 11, 2026September 11, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my leather jacket because I’m so excited to share this earth-shattering news with…

WASP dusts off ancient relic Mr Cool for nostalgia desperate fans
Breaking, Music News

WASP dusts off ancient relic Mr Cool for nostalgia desperate fans

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 11, 2026September 11, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious nostalgia? 🤯 W.A.S.P. just kicked off their “1984 To Headless” 2026…

Dying repeatedly never felt so frustratingly familiar in Emberville
Breaking, Games News

Dying repeatedly never felt so frustratingly familiar in Emberville

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 11, 2026September 11, 2026

Emberville, the latest darling of the gaming world, has got me hooked, and I’m not just saying that because I’ve…

Kojima’s Physint Axed by PlayStation Over Cold Hard Cash
Breaking, Games News

Kojima’s Physint Axed by PlayStation Over Cold Hard Cash

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 11, 2026September 11, 2026

In the ever-unpredictable world of gaming, it seems like the only constant is the drama surrounding Hideo Kojima’s projects. Earlier…

Global Economy Held Hostage by Tiny Strait Again Because Reasons
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Global Economy Held Hostage by Tiny Strait Again Because Reasons

Big ElephantSeptember 11, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that the Bab al-Mandeb strait, a narrow waterway between…

Diesel Now Costs More Than Your Therapy Session
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Diesel Now Costs More Than Your Therapy Session

Big ElephantSeptember 11, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here sipping my coffee and reading about diesel prices topping $6 a gallon for the first time…

Nation Still Somehow Not Over Worst Tuesday Ever
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation Still Somehow Not Over Worst Tuesday Ever

Big ElephantSeptember 11, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the 25th anniversary of 9/11 in New York City, and I have…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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