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Category: Breaking

HP Says They Have New Stuff or Whatever
Breaking, Games News

HP Says They Have New Stuff or Whatever

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, look, it’s that time of year again when HP, bless their corporate hearts, tries to convince us that Fall…

Thunderbolts’ Streaming Premiere Date Announced (As If You Care)
Breaking, Movie News

Thunderbolts’ Streaming Premiere Date Announced (As If You Care)

FinnAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh boy, another Marvel movie! 🙄 As if we didn’t have enough of those already. But wait, this one’s *different*.…

Mobile Gaming for Dummies: A Guide for the Clueless Noob
Breaking, Games News

Mobile Gaming for Dummies: A Guide for the Clueless Noob

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

**So, you’ve decided to grace the mobile gaming world with your presence? 🙄 Prepare for a life-altering experience of rage-quitting,…

Jason Returns in Friday the 13th Short Film: Oh, the Horror
Breaking, Movie News

Jason Returns in Friday the 13th Short Film: Oh, the Horror

FinnAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Okay, so apparently Friday the 13th and that overgrown man-child, Jason Voorhees, have been battling it out in court like…

“The Man In My Basement” Trailer: Prepare for Willem Dafoe’s Oscar-Worthy Performance (as a Basement Dweller)
Breaking, Movie News

“The Man In My Basement” Trailer: Prepare for Willem Dafoe’s Oscar-Worthy Performance (as a Basement Dweller)

FinnAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, honey, let’s talk about “The Man in My Basement,” because nothing screams “riveting cinema” like a dusty basement and…

DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful prog! 🙄 In October 2023, the planets aligned, the unicorns 🦄 danced, and Mike Portnoy, after a…

Robert Plant and Saving Grace Drop ‘Gospel Plough’ – Prepare for the Overhyped Debut Album
Breaking, Music News

Robert Plant and Saving Grace Drop ‘Gospel Plough’ – Prepare for the Overhyped Debut Album

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Robert Plant, bless his heart, is still at it. He and his merry band of musical misfits, SAVING GRACE (because…

ANTHRAX: Still Alive? Book Your Geriatric Metal Cruise Cabin Now!
Breaking, Live, Music News

ANTHRAX: Still Alive? Book Your Geriatric Metal Cruise Cabin Now!

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Ahoy, shipmates! Get ready to drain your bank accounts 💸 because 70000 Tons Of Metal, the only metal cruise that…

Magic: The Gathering and Avatar: The Last Airbender Crossover: Prepare for Disappointment!
Breaking, Games News

Magic: The Gathering and Avatar: The Last Airbender Crossover: Prepare for Disappointment!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Oh, honey, hold onto your hats because Wizards of the Coast is at it again! 🙄 Fresh off the heels…

Ryan Reynolds Drops Avengers Bomb, Internet Goes Full-On Deadpool Psycho
Breaking, Movie News

Ryan Reynolds Drops Avengers Bomb, Internet Goes Full-On Deadpool Psycho

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

OMG! 😱 You guys are STILL talking about Deadpool joining the Avengers? Seriously? 🙄 Hasn’t Marvel milked that cow dry…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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