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Category: Breaking

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL
Breaking, Music News

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😲 The world-renowned vocal powerhouse, Celine Dion, has finally acknowledged the existence of Ozzy Osbourne, you know, that bat-chomping…

Avatar 3: Electric Boogaloo – James Cameron’s Back for More Blue Cat Shenanigans
Breaking, Movie News

Avatar 3: Electric Boogaloo – James Cameron’s Back for More Blue Cat Shenanigans

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Oh, joy! Another trip to Pandora! 🙄 Because we DEFINITELY didn’t have enough blue cat people the first two times.…

Wakanda Forever? More Like Wakanda Whenever, Says Confused Disney+
Breaking, Movie News

Wakanda Forever? More Like Wakanda Whenever, Says Confused Disney+

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Oh, great, another Marvel cartoon 🙄. As if we didn’t have enough superhero content already. Brace yourselves, folks, because Disney+…

Joe Elliott Gushes Over Geezer Ozzy: “He’s, Like, A Rock God Or Something”
Breaking, Music News

Joe Elliott Gushes Over Geezer Ozzy: “He’s, Like, A Rock God Or Something”

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

In a recent interview with Fox 13 Seattle’s pathetic excuse for a morning show, “Good Day Seattle,” DEF LEPPARD’s perpetually…

President Curtis: Keith David’s Newest Multiversal Misadventure (That You Probably Won’t Understand)
Breaking, Movie News

President Curtis: Keith David’s Newest Multiversal Misadventure (That You Probably Won’t Understand)

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Adult Swim, in their infinite wisdom (or maybe they just ran out of ideas 💡), has graced us with a…

OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you guys hear? Some nobody at Horror Inc. (yeah, never heard of them either) mumbled something about…

Puscifer Drops a Retrospective Album So You Can Pretend You’ve Been a Fan All Along
Breaking, Music News

Puscifer Drops a Retrospective Album So You Can Pretend You’ve Been a Fan All Along

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

PUSCIFER, the pretentious art-rock collective fronted by wine-slinging overlord Maynard James Keenan, along with his sidekicks Mat Mitchell and Carina…

IT Chapter Whatever: Pennywise’s origin story—because you asked for it
Breaking, Movie News

IT Chapter Whatever: Pennywise’s origin story—because you asked for it

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

🤡OMG! HBO, bless their cotton socks, has dropped ANOTHER teaser for It: Welcome to Derry! Because, you know, we haven’t…

Peacemaker Season 2 Trailer: More explosions, more John Cena flexing, less plot
Breaking, Movie News

Peacemaker Season 2 Trailer: More explosions, more John Cena flexing, less plot

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Oh, great, HBO Max decided to bless us with more Peacemaker, because clearly, we didn’t have enough superhero content clogging…

METALLICA Planning To Annoy Las Vegas With Extended Residency, Sources Say
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA Planning To Annoy Las Vegas With Extended Residency, Sources Say

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

According to Vital Vegas, METALLICA, those geriatric thrashers, are “ready to ink a deal for a Sphere residency” in Las…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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