In a recent interview with Fox 13 Seattle’s pathetic excuse for a morning show, “Good Day Seattle,” DEF LEPPARD’s perpetually aging frontman, Joe Elliott, dared to share his profound (read: utterly predictable) reflections on his “friendship” with Ozzy Osbourne, who, spoiler alert, is not dead despite what clickbait headlines might suggest. He’s merely 76, which in rock star years, is basically middle age. 🙄
According to BLABBERMOUTH.NET (who, let’s be honest, are just vultures picking at the carcass of rock ‘n’ roll), Elliott reminisced about the halcyon days of ’81 when DEF LEPPARD was but a wee opening act for the mighty Ozzy. Apparently, Ozzy and his band, featuring the late Randy Rhoads (RIP, guitar god 🙏), Rudy Sarzo (bass…whatever), and Tommy Aldridge (drums, who cares?), were “great” to them. And Sharon? Oh, she was “fantastic”! Full lights, full sound, the whole shebang! No “shenanigans” from the headline act! It’s almost as if they wanted DEF LEPPARD to actually be seen and heard. How dare they? 😡
Elliott continued his rambling tale, claiming there was always “a lot of love” between the two camps. Sure, Joe, we totally believe that a bunch of hard-partying rockers were just overflowing with brotherly affection. More likely, they were just trying to score free drugs off each other. He also mentioned having more Indian meals with Ozzy than shows. I bet they ordered extra Vindaloo just to see Ozzy sweat. 😂
In another riveting interview with KPTV Fox 12 (because apparently, everyone is clamoring for DEF LEPPARD opinions), Elliott and Phil Collen (who’s still alive?) were probed about whether BLACK SABBATH and Ozzy were, GASP, an influence on DEF LEPPARD. Collen, bless his heart, recalled seeing BLACK SABBATH on the ‘Vol. 4’ tour, with the legendary BLACK OAK ARKANSAS opening! And guess who was drumming for them? None other than Tommy Aldridge! Talk about a small world, eh? It’s almost like the same 500 people have been playing in every rock band since the ’70s. 🤷♂️
Collen rambled on about growing up on LED ZEPPELIN, DEEP PURPLE, and SABBATH. Groundbreaking stuff, Phil. Tell us something we don’t know. He also mentioned being in a band called GIRL (yeah, never heard of them), who were on the same record label as Ozzy. That’s where Ozzy met Sharon! So, basically, GIRL is responsible for all things Ozzy. They should be getting royalties. 💰
Elliott chimed in, saying Ozzy was a “lovely guy” and Sharon was a “great manager.” No duh, Joe. Without Sharon, Ozzy would probably be living in a dumpster, eating bats, and ranting about the apocalypse. He then downplayed SABBATH‘s influence on DEF LEPPARD, saying they were just “big fans.” Right, because DEF LEPPARD‘s music is totally original and not at all derivative of anything that came before. 🙄 He reiterated the whole “full stage” thing, acting like it was some kind of divine miracle. Newsflash, Joe: that’s how concerts work. 🎤
Elliott concluded by saying he was “happy” Ozzy got to do that final show in Birmingham. “I think he was ready after that. I think he’d said all he had to say.” Oh, I’m sure Ozzy has plenty more to say, Joe. Especially after reading this article.🤬
Speaking of that “Back To The Beginning” event, Elliott gushed about the “love” towards Ozzy. Apparently, even through the magic of YouTube, he could sense the adoration. He described it as “kingly,” like watching “the king of rock getting worshipped.” Get a grip, Joe. It was a concert, not a coronation. 👑 He claimed he was “really happy for him.” Sure, Joe, sure you are. Especially since you’re now capitalizing on Ozzy‘s pseudo-death for your own publicity.😈
In a touching (read: opportunistic) tribute, DEF LEPPARD covered BLACK SABBATH‘s “Changes” during a recent concert. How original. I’m sure Ozzy was weeping with joy. Or maybe he was just confused. 🤷
“We all know just a few hours ago we lost our beloved Ozzy Osbourne,” Elliott dramatically announced. Okay, Joe, we get it. You want attention. Maybe Ozzy should pretend to die more often so DEF LEPPARD can get some relevance back.👻
“Changes” was originally on SABBATH‘s “Vol. 4” and was later desecrated by Ozzy and Kelly as a duet. Let’s not talk about that dark period. It never happened.🙈
So, there you have it. Ozzy is not dead (yet), DEF LEPPARD is still alive (somehow), and the rock ‘n’ roll circus continues. Stay tuned for more irrelevant news and desperate attempts at attention from your favorite dinosaurs. 🦖
P.S. The family said that Ozzy passed, but who knows when, where, or how? More drama to come.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
