‘We’ll Take It From Here, Boys,’ Says Kash Patel To Confused Minneapolis Mail Carrier
The post ‘We’ll Take It From Here, Boys,’ Says Kash Patel To Confused Minneapolis Mail Carrier appeared first on…
Category: The Onion
DHS Releases Watchlist Of Mothers Driving Cars
WASHINGTON—Circulating a new advisory that highlighted what it called the “worst of the worst,” the Department of Homeland Security…
JD Vance Claims Renée Good Had No Authority To Be Alive In First Place
The post JD Vance Claims Renée Good Had No Authority To Be Alive In First Place appeared first on…
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Stephen Miller
White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller has been the force behind many of President Trump’s hard-line policies,…
Fox News Sends Trump Quarterly Tithe Of 3 Blond Anchors
WASHINGTON—Saying the sumptuous gift should slake the administration’s thirst for the next few months, Fox News sent President Donald…
U.K. Bans Junk Food Advertisements
The United Kingdom banned junk food advertisements on television before 9 p.m. and at any time online, part of…
Fact-Checking The Trump Administration On Venezuela
President Donald Trump has made a number of claims about the future of Venezuela since U.S. special forces raided…
Kristi Noem Calls Fatal Minneapolis Shooting Cathartic
The post Kristi Noem Calls Fatal Minneapolis Shooting Cathartic appeared first on The Onion. The post Kristi Noem Calls…
RFK Jr. Recommends Drinking Anything That Comes Out Of Cow
WASHINGTON—Claiming that most people only get a fraction of the benefits the “nutritional gold mine” has to offer, Health…
CDC Scales Back Child Vaccine Schedule
The Trump administration sharply cut the U.S. childhood vaccine schedule from 17 to 11 recommended shots, with health experts…