Category: The Onion

       WASHINGTON—In an effort to manage the American people’s expectations, officials at the National Association for Business Economics announced Wednesday…

       WASHINGTON—Praising the process as yet another miracle of biology that modern medicine chooses to ignore, a gray-lipped Robert F.…

       CLEVELAND—Revealing a vast, forgotten catalog of legitimate pop compositions, a report released Thursday about novelty musical act Michael Joseph…

       1 FROWNIN’ AT NIGHT THE WEEKEND 2 EMBERS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT TAYLOR SWIFT 3 PORK ME WITH YOUR…

       An investor group that includes Travis Kelce has acquired about 9% of Six Flags Entertainment Corporation, planning to advocate…

       Another season of Nobody Wants This dropped on Netflix, marking a new chapter in the love story between a…

       WASHINGTON—Claiming that the sacred ash tree had outlived its usefulness and needed to be updated, President Donald Trump made…

       WASHINGTON—Occasionally pausing to rub his bleeding temple as he delivered the statement, visibly bruised Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth…

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Acknowledging that he was impressed by the foreign leader’s ability to compromise on all kinds of fixtures, President…

    Read MoreThe OnionNEW YORK—Attempting to broach the sensitive subject as delicately as possible, Taylor Swift’s wedding planner reportedly asked the…