Police Catch Man Smuggling Cocaine Under Toupee
Read MoreThe OnionColombian police apprehended a man attempting to smuggle 220 grams of cocaine in small bags hidden under his…
Category: The Onion
Trump Renames Eric ‘Eric Of America’
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Trump Renames Eric ‘Eric Of America’ appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind…
Fact-Checking Trump On The Russia-Ukraine War
Read MoreThe OnionFollowing his Oval Office clash with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, President Donald Trump has paused military aid to…
Town With Heavyset Mule Stuck In Barn Door Plumb Out Of Ideas
Read MoreThe OnionRANBURNE, AL—Concluding an hours-long summit with top thinkers from the area, residents of a town with a heavyset…
Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Golden Age Of China
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Promising a glorious future marked by limitless prosperity for the East Asian nation, President Donald Trump outlined a…
Congress All Groggy Today After Staying Up Past 8:30
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Groaning with exhaustion and joint pain after their late bedtime last night, members of Congress were reportedly all…
Sergeant-At-Arms Ejects Al Green After Repeated Warnings About His Race
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Sergeant-At-Arms Ejects Al Green After Repeated Warnings About His Race appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn…
Homesick Luka Doncic Gazes Longingly At Photo Of Barren Dallas Office Park
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—In the aftermath of a stunning trade that saw the point guard move from the Texas city…
Foreign Man Knows An Incredible Amount About Harlem Globetrotters
Read MoreThe OnionNEW YORK—Astonished by the sheer volume of exhibition basketball knowledge that one person could possess, sources confirmed Monday…
Trump’s 25% Tariffs On Canada, Mexico Take Effect
Read MoreThe OnionPresident Donald Trump’s 25% taxes on imports from Mexico and Canada went into effect today, the latest salvo…