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Alabama Town’s Black Mayor Kicks Down Door, Wins Election (Again) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Alabama Town’s Black Mayor Kicks Down Door, Wins Election (Again) | CNN

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Ah, yes, another victory for the woke mob in tiny Newbern, Alabama! Seems like the Deep State’s plan to infiltrate…

‘Back to the Future’ AGAIN?! As If We Haven’t Suffered Enough
Breaking, Movie News

‘Back to the Future’ AGAIN?! As If We Haven’t Suffered Enough

FinnAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

OMG 😱! Did you know that if *Back to the Future* was made TODAY 🗓️, Marty McFly would travel back…

Chainsaw Man—The Movie: Reze Arc Hitting North America on October 29 (Prepare for Peak Fiction or Utter Disappointment)
Breaking, Movie News

Chainsaw Man—The Movie: Reze Arc Hitting North America on October 29 (Prepare for Peak Fiction or Utter Disappointment)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here. After approximately 3 decades of waiting (give or take), Crunchyroll, bless their…

Gamera vs Emo Tentacle Monster: A Tragedy in One Act
Live

Gamera vs Emo Tentacle Monster: A Tragedy in One Act

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 30, 2025

OMG! 😱Secret Movie Club presents: GAMERA 3: REVENGE OF IRIS!💥Million Dollar Theater, August 31, 2025, 3pm!🤯 FREE tix if you…

This Week at the White House: Trump Thinks More Troops Will Magically Solve Everything, and Other Hilarious Ideas
Elephant Reads CNN

This Week at the White House: Trump Thinks More Troops Will Magically Solve Everything, and Other Hilarious Ideas

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Oh, the Fake News Network (CNN) is at it again, folks! Apparently, President Trump – yes, YOUR President, America –…

MUDVAYNE Drops ‘Hurt People Hurt People’ After Century-Long Hiatus, Proving They Still Know How To Spell ‘Edgy’
Breaking, Music News

MUDVAYNE Drops ‘Hurt People Hurt People’ After Century-Long Hiatus, Proving They Still Know How To Spell ‘Edgy’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Well, well, well, look who crawled out of whatever primordial ooze they were marinating in – it’s MUDVAYNE! 🤡 They’ve…

Crimson Desert? More Like Crimson Disasterpiece Getting a Physical Release Thanks to PLAION, Bless Their Hearts
Breaking, Games News

Crimson Desert? More Like Crimson Disasterpiece Getting a Physical Release Thanks to PLAION, Bless Their Hearts

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

Oh, sweet nectar of the gods! 📢 Pearl Abyss, bless their cotton socks, has decided that *Crimson Desert* is so…

OMG! K-Pop Demon Hunters Beat Literally Every Other Movie Ever Made, Bow Down Netflix Peasants
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! K-Pop Demon Hunters Beat Literally Every Other Movie Ever Made, Bow Down Netflix Peasants

FinnAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Honestly, who even CARES anymore? KPop Demon Hunters is apparently the most-watched Netflix movie EVER. Like, ever ever. 🙄 With…

KISS Invades ‘World of Tanks’ With Enough Makeup to Trigger a Metal Detector
Breaking, Games News

KISS Invades ‘World of Tanks’ With Enough Makeup to Trigger a Metal Detector

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Metal Fest, the festival that somehow hasn’t been canceled yet, is back in World Of Tanks Modern Armor, and this…

CNN: Brave Activists Rally for Guy Who Might Get Sent to Uganda Because Orange Man Said So
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Brave Activists Rally for Guy Who Might Get Sent to Uganda Because Orange Man Said So

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another sob story from CNN about a “poor, innocent” illegal alien. Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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