Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Agenda

GOV’T SHUTDOWN: NO MORE MONKEYS, DINOS, OR ROCKETS FOR U, PEASANTS
Elephant Reads CNN

GOV’T SHUTDOWN: NO MORE MONKEYS, DINOS, OR ROCKETS FOR U, PEASANTS

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Well, folks, the liberal loonies have done it again! The Smithsonian museums and the National Zoo are closed because of…

Netanyahu Yells ‘New Era,’ Promises ‘Sons Will Magically Teleport Back Home’
Elephant Reads CNN

Netanyahu Yells ‘New Era,’ Promises ‘Sons Will Magically Teleport Back Home’

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Netanyahu hails ‘new era’ – more like ‘new error’ if you ask me! This is just the start of the…

FAQ: Why Uncle Sam Just Tossed 20 Big Ones at Argentina (Again?!)
Elephant Reads CNN

FAQ: Why Uncle Sam Just Tossed 20 Big Ones at Argentina (Again?!)

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Another day, another socialist media meltdown! CNN is losing its mind because President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is helping…

Kaboom in Tennessee: Building Goes Bye-Bye, People Play Hide-and-Seek (Explosive Edition)
Elephant Reads CNN

Kaboom in Tennessee: Building Goes Bye-Bye, People Play Hide-and-Seek (Explosive Edition)

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Another day, another disaster, probably orchestrated by the Deep State to make President Trump look bad. A “thundering blast” at…

Trump Does a Free Speech Backflip—Nailed It (Said No One Ever)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Does a Free Speech Backflip—Nailed It (Said No One Ever)

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh, the irony! Apparently, now that we have a REAL President in office, suddenly “free speech” is a problem for…

Aviva Siegel Survives Hostage Hell, Now Annoys Wolf Blitzer With Ceasefire Complaints
Elephant Reads CNN

Aviva Siegel Survives Hostage Hell, Now Annoys Wolf Blitzer With Ceasefire Complaints

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Another day, another sob story from CNN, the Clinton News Network, about a former hostage in Gaza! You just know…

Biden Exposes Himself to Dangerous Rays for a ‘Tan’
Elephant Reads CNN

Biden Exposes Himself to Dangerous Rays for a ‘Tan’

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Well, well, well, look who it is – Sleepy Joe himself! Turns out, even after his disastrous term, he’s still…

CNN to Host AOC and Bernie: Prepare for Peak Wokeness
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN to Host AOC and Bernie: Prepare for Peak Wokeness

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

AOC and Bernie, the dynamic duo of destruction, are teaming up with CNN (aka the Communist News Network) for a…

Nvidia: World’s AI Chip Daddy Gets Spanked in US-China Trade Tantrum
Elephant Reads CNN

Nvidia: World’s AI Chip Daddy Gets Spanked in US-China Trade Tantrum

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Nvidia, the so-called “AI chipmaker,” is now whining about trade tensions. Boo hoo! Maybe if they weren’t so eager to…

Lawler’s Got Beef With Jeffries: The Inside Scoop (and It’s Juicier Than a Memphis BBQ Sandwich)
Elephant Reads CNN

Lawler’s Got Beef With Jeffries: The Inside Scoop (and It’s Juicier Than a Memphis BBQ Sandwich)

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Another day, another leftist squabble! Representative Lawler, a true patriot, stood his ground against Hakeem Jeffries, a puppet of the…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 46 47 48 … 100 Next

Latest posts

  • Because the World Needed Another Sherlock Holmes Sequel Apparently
  • Because What Hollywood Needs Is More Consolidation Of Film Culture
  • Because You Needed Another Warframe Clone Obviously Coming Soon
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 12 2026
  • Mitch McConnell Takes a Tumble and a Hospital Trip Apparently

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}