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Michelle Obama Says US Moving Toward Having a Woman President Because Apparently, We’re Finally Ready to Trade the Nuclear Codes for a Color-Coordinated Outfit Scheme
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Michelle Obama Says US Moving Toward Having a Woman President Because Apparently, We’re Finally Ready to Trade the Nuclear Codes for a Color-Coordinated Outfit Scheme

Big ElephantJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Michelle Obama Suddenly Discovers America Wants a Woman President—Is It Just in Time for the 2028 Deep State Shuffle? Well,…

Heel – Watch Stephen Graham and Andrea Riseborough in a twisted thriller that’s clearly just *The Wire* meets *The Twilight Zone* but darker because why not
Breaking, Movie News

Heel – Watch Stephen Graham and Andrea Riseborough in a twisted thriller that’s clearly just *The Wire* meets *The Twilight Zone* but darker because why not

FinnJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Oh, look! Another “twisted thriller” where a troubled youth gets kidnapped by a family who’s definitely auditioning for the world’s…

Ex-Obama Lawyer Was Apparently Jeffrey Epstein’s “Get Out of Jail Free” Card, Court Docs Allege
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ex-Obama Lawyer Was Apparently Jeffrey Epstein’s “Get Out of Jail Free” Card, Court Docs Allege

Big ElephantJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

While CNN and the fake news media obsess over the latest manufactured witch hunt against President Trump’s allies, a bombshell…

This Is Not A Test – Because We’ve Finally Decided To Just Give Up And Watch The Trailer For The New Zombie Apocalypse Movie
Breaking, Movie News

This Is Not A Test – Because We’ve Finally Decided To Just Give Up And Watch The Trailer For The New Zombie Apocalypse Movie

FinnJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

Oh great, another zombie flick where a group of “plucky” teenagers tries to survive the apocalypse in a high school.…

83-Year-Old Boomer Convicted of Whacking Uber Driver After Dubious Tip Theory
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

83-Year-Old Boomer Convicted of Whacking Uber Driver After Dubious Tip Theory

Big ElephantJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Tragic Ohio Tragedy Shows the Devastating Consequences of Crooked Joe Biden’s Inflation and Open Border Policies, Says President Trump In…

The Old Beatle Is Fleeing: The Scooby Doo Gang Finally Catching Sir Paul?
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

The Old Beatle Is Fleeing: The Scooby Doo Gang Finally Catching Sir Paul?

FinnJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Paul McCartney has decided that simply owning all the money in the known universe wasn’t quite enough, so naturally, he’s…

Quran Recited Across America As The Book That Probably Knows More About Peace Than Your Uncle’s Thanksgiving Rant
Events

Quran Recited Across America As The Book That Probably Knows More About Peace Than Your Uncle’s Thanksgiving Rant

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 18, 2026

Get ready to pause the chaos! 🙏 The nationwide Qur’an Tour is dropping in Morton Grove, IL for a spiritual…

¡Oye, autor! ¿No tienes 90 minutos? ¡Pues qué poeta más lento!
Events

¡Oye, autor! ¿No tienes 90 minutos? ¡Pues qué poeta más lento!

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 18, 2026

Unlock your inner Hemingway! 🖊️ La chispa narrativa is a 90-minute creative writing workshop for those blocked or clueless on…

The Sims 4 Officially Announces The “Pay 40 Dollars to Bow Down to a Digital Duke” Update
Breaking, Games News

The Sims 4 Officially Announces The “Pay 40 Dollars to Bow Down to a Digital Duke” Update

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

Throw away your microwave dinners and peasant-grade furniture, because The Sims 4 has finally decided that your Sims are too…

Hi-Fi Rush physical release lets you pre-order the game you were told you couldn’t own
Breaking, Games News

Hi-Fi Rush physical release lets you pre-order the game you were told you couldn’t own

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

🚨Attention all rhythm game enthusiasts and collectors who still own DVD players in the year of our Lord 2026! 🚨…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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