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Tag: Boston

Criminologist Weighs In on Guthrie Family Video: “Wow, These People Are a Hot Mess”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Criminologist Weighs In on Guthrie Family Video: “Wow, These People Are a Hot Mess”

Big ElephantFebruary 5, 2026February 5, 2026

Well, well, well, folks! Looks like the Democrats have finally found a way to keep their elders occupied—hosting a nationwide…

OPETH Finally Explains What ‘Paragraph Seven’ Means And It Will Change Your Life Forever (NOT CLICKBAIT)
Breaking, Music News

OPETH Finally Explains What ‘Paragraph Seven’ Means And It Will Change Your Life Forever (NOT CLICKBAIT)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

OPETH is back, and they’ve got a new video for you, you lucky, lucky degenerates. 🤘 If you’re looking for…

Events

Afrobeats Secretly Took Over the World While Everyone Was Arguing About Globalization

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 18, 2026

Get ready to sweat off your expensive makeup at Mémoire Boston on January 18, 2026, because Afrobeats are taking over…

The Best New TV Shows on Streaming This Weekend (That Will Probably Suck But Here We Are)
Breaking, Movie News

The Best New TV Shows on Streaming This Weekend (That Will Probably Suck But Here We Are)

FinnJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Your Couch Just Got a Promotion! 🍿 New Shows Are Here to Haunt Your Binge-Watching Soul (and Your…

Southie Thrift Market: Where Your Grandpa’s Sweaters Go to Become Hipster Gold
Events

Southie Thrift Market: Where Your Grandpa’s Sweaters Go to Become Hipster Gold

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 11, 2026

🚨 ATTENTION HUMANS WHO OWN CLOTHES: The Southie Thrift Market Is Coming to Loco (Yes, That’s the Venue Name, Not…

Fenway All Access – Boston New Year’s Eve 2026: Where the Green Monster Meets the Champagne Fountain
Events

Fenway All Access – Boston New Year’s Eve 2026: Where the Green Monster Meets the Champagne Fountain

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 30, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Boston’s Elite 1% Discovered Secret Nightlife Hack – One Wristband, 10 Bars, Zero Adulting Skills Required! 🎰🍸 1…

White House Tells Smithsonian: Do the Bureaucratic Hokey Pokey or Lose Your Federal Allowance
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White House Tells Smithsonian: Do the Bureaucratic Hokey Pokey or Lose Your Federal Allowance

Big ElephantDecember 21, 2025December 21, 2025

Smithsonian Caught Red-Handed Spreading Leftist Propaganda—White House Demands Immediate Compliance or Federal Funding Cutoff In a stunning turn of events…

JANE’S ADDICTION: ‘We Have Convened One Final Time To Scream Into The Void And Maybe Hug It Out’
Breaking, Music News

JANE’S ADDICTION: ‘We Have Convened One Final Time To Scream Into The Void And Maybe Hug It Out’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

🎸 When the Rock ‘n’ Roll Circus Collapses on Itself: JANE’S ADDICTION Declares Peace Like a Reality Show Finale 🌈✌️…

Korn Drummer’s Studio: Prepare for Disappointment
Okay, here's your dose of musical mayhem. Prepare to have your eardrums… mildly amused. 🤣
Breaking, Music News

Korn Drummer’s Studio: Prepare for Disappointment

Chord F. DiscordDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

KORN‘s Ray Luzier, the dude who hits things for a living, just dropped a THIRTEEN-MINUTE video showcasing his “Lose Yer…

College Kid Gets Kicked Out of US After Trying to Surprise His Fam for Turkey Day, Judge’s Orders Be Damned
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

College Kid Gets Kicked Out of US After Trying to Surprise His Fam for Turkey Day, Judge’s Orders Be Damned

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, oh, the Honduranity! Another sob story from the Fake News CNN, folks. A…

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  • To Raise Stakes, U.S. Army Given One Pick In Each Round Of NBA Draft

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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