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Tag: breaking

MARVEL Strike Force Gets Inundated with Four More Schmucks, Tedious Tasks, and Other Mind-Numbing Crap
Breaking, Games News

MARVEL Strike Force Gets Inundated with Four More Schmucks, Tedious Tasks, and Other Mind-Numbing Crap

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Get ready to flush your money down the digital toilet🚽! Scopely, in its infinite wisdom (or maybe just infinite greed🤑),…

Stephen Colbert’s Reign of Terror Ends: CBS Finally Pulls the Plug Due to Emptying Their Bank Account
Breaking

Stephen Colbert’s Reign of Terror Ends: CBS Finally Pulls the Plug Due to Emptying Their Bank Account

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Wow, hold onto your dentures, folks! 👵 CBS, in a move that’s clearly not suspicious at all 🙄, is yanking…

Nine Inch Nails’ New “Tron” Soundtrack: Get Ready for Some Seriously Overproduced Synth Noises
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

Nine Inch Nails’ New “Tron” Soundtrack: Get Ready for Some Seriously Overproduced Synth Noises

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

“Tron: Ares (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack),” featuring all original music by NINE INCH NAILS (because who else would Disney hire?…

Virtuos’ Oblivion Remastered: So Successful, They Celebrated with Layoffs
Breaking, Games News

Virtuos’ Oblivion Remastered: So Successful, They Celebrated with Layoffs

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Oh, the sweet irony! 🤣 Virtuos, the studio that allegedly “remastered” Oblivion into a slightly shinier, but still janky, version…

Mortal Kombat 2 Trailer Reveals Washed-Up Karl Urban as Johnny Cage, Because Why Not
Breaking, Movie News

Mortal Kombat 2 Trailer Reveals Washed-Up Karl Urban as Johnny Cage, Because Why Not

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Oh great, another Mortal Kombat movie. 🙄 Just what the world needed! Warner Bros. decided to grace us with a…

Netflix Dares to Defile Beloved Assassin’s Creed Lore with New “Original” Adaptation
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Netflix Dares to Defile Beloved Assassin’s Creed Lore with New “Original” Adaptation

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Netflix, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof, depending on how you feel about their recent… *choices* 🙄), has decided…

Fantastic Four: First Steps Takes a Step Back by Kicking a Classic Villain to the Curb
Breaking, Movie News

Fantastic Four: First Steps Takes a Step Back by Kicking a Classic Villain to the Curb

FinnJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Oh no! 😱 Malkovich got the boot from The Fantastic Four: First Steps! Was it his acting? Nah, probably just…

Judas Priest Still Kicking (Literally) at 2025 Hellfest: Proof That Metal Gods Don’t Know When to Quit
Breaking, Music News

Judas Priest Still Kicking (Literally) at 2025 Hellfest: Proof That Metal Gods Don’t Know When to Quit

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

OMG! 😱 ARTE Concert, bless their cotton socks, has dropped the entire JUDAS PRIEST performance from Hellfest 2025. So, if…

GTA 6: Back to Vice City, Baby! But What Old Crap Should They Drag Along?
Breaking, Games News

GTA 6: Back to Vice City, Baby! But What Old Crap Should They Drag Along?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Oh, look, another article about GTA VI.🙄 Twelve years, people! TWELVE YEARS we’ve been waiting for Rockstar to grace us…

DEMON HUNTER Announces Fall 2025 U.S Tour: Prepare for a Descent into Mediocrity With WAR OF AGES, CONVICTIONS, and CULTIST
Events, Music News

DEMON HUNTER Announces Fall 2025 U.S Tour: Prepare for a Descent into Mediocrity With WAR OF AGES, CONVICTIONS, and CULTIST

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

DEMON HUNTER, those paragons of… something, are bravely embarking on a U.S. tour this late summer/early fall. Prepare yourselves (or…

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