ATTENTION, 90S KIDS: Your childhood is being sold back to you, and you’re going to love it
Oh look, another nostalgia cash grab! Atari and Digital Eclipse have teamed up to remind you that you’re old and your childhood is now a product. The Disney Afternoon Collection is coming exclusively to Nintendo Switch and Switch 2, because apparently Disney owns your memories now.
Remember when you’d run home from school to catch your favorite cartoons? Well, now you can sit on your couch as an adult and play the video games based on those cartoons! Progress!
This magical compilation brings back eight classic Disney NES and SNES titles that you probably already own three times over. But don’t worry – they’ve added some “modern upgrades” like the ability to rewind your mistakes. Because apparently, we’ve all gotten so bad at video games that we need training wheels. The collection also features a Gallery (aka “look at pretty pictures mode”) and a Music Player (aka “listen to bleep-bloop versions of Disney songs you can’t get out of your head mode”).
Let’s look at this lineup of revolutionary gaming experiences:
– Goof Troop (SNES) – The game where you play as Goofy’s son Max, who apparently has more adventures than his dad
– Bonkers (SNES) – Yes, they made a game about that weird Bobcat cop cartoon
– DuckTales & DuckTales 2 (NES) – Because pogo-jumping on enemies never gets old, apparently
– Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers & Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers 2 (NES) – The game where you throw apples at robots
– TaleSpin (NES) – The one where Baloo flies a plane, because why not
– Darkwing Duck (NES) – “I am the terror that flaps in the night!” – also, the game where you shoot things
The six NES games come with Time Attack and Boss Rush modes with online leaderboards, because what’s more fun than speed-running games designed to eat your quarters in 1989? Nothing, that’s what!
You can get this collection digitally on February 26 (perfect timing for when you’re regretting your New Year’s resolutions), or wait for the physical edition shipping in May (perfect timing for when you’re regretting your tax return decisions).
So dust off your nostalgia goggles and prepare to spend money on games you’ve probably already bought multiple times on multiple platforms. It’s the circle of gaming life! ♻️🎮
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
