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Tag: breaking

Keanu’s a Clumsy Angel? Good Fortune Looks Like a Heavenly Mess
Breaking

Keanu’s a Clumsy Angel? Good Fortune Looks Like a Heavenly Mess

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 🐴, because the trailer for Good Fortune just dropped, and it’s about as original as a…

Regal’s $1 Summer Movie Express: Prepare for a Cinematic Rollercoaster of Cheap Thrills (and Questionable Films) in 2025
Breaking

Regal’s $1 Summer Movie Express: Prepare for a Cinematic Rollercoaster of Cheap Thrills (and Questionable Films) in 2025

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Regal’s Summer Movie Express (SMX) is BACK for 2025, baby! πŸŽ‰ Get ready to shell out a whopping $1 (yes,…

Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome
Breaking

Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

So, Dave Mustaine, bless his pointy-guitar-loving heart, did another interview. This time, with some ex-Navy SEAL/CIA dude, because, you know,…

MINISTRY Drops New Single ‘I’ll Do Anything For You’ – Are They Finally Covering a Bryan Adams Classic? (Spoiler: No)
Breaking

MINISTRY Drops New Single ‘I’ll Do Anything For You’ – Are They Finally Covering a Bryan Adams Classic? (Spoiler: No)

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Al Jourgensen rocking heart-shaped sunglasses, pigtails, and a shirt proclaiming “I’m Adorable”? 🀣 Yeah, you didn’t misread that. Apparently, someone…

Metallica’s Black Album Goes 20x Platinum While ‘Master Of Puppets’ Still Stuck in the 80s
Breaking

Metallica’s Black Album Goes 20x Platinum While ‘Master Of Puppets’ Still Stuck in the 80s

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! METALLICA, yes, THOSE guys, have actually managed to sell some records! πŸ’ΏπŸ’Ώ Apparently, two…

Online Gaming: A Playground for Future Felons
Breaking

Online Gaming: A Playground for Future Felons

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Alright gamers, gather ’round because we’re about to dive headfirst into the totally not-scary world of online gaming for kids!…

PokΓ©mon Legends: Z-A Release Date: Prepare for Disappointment and More Useless PokΓ©mon Presents
Breaking

PokΓ©mon Legends: Z-A Release Date: Prepare for Disappointment and More Useless PokΓ©mon Presents

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Oh, honey, The PokΓ©mon Company International, bless their hearts πŸ™„, has FINALLY decided to grace us with the release date…

DOOGEE Phones: From Brick to Chic (But Still a Brick)
Breaking

DOOGEE Phones: From Brick to Chic (But Still a Brick)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Okay, so apparently, at GITEX Europe 2025, DOOGEE – yes, DOOGEE – decided to grace us with their presence, showcasing…

‘Our Movie’ K-Drama Drops First Teaser, Prepare to Cringe
Breaking

‘Our Movie’ K-Drama Drops First Teaser, Prepare to Cringe

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

OMG 😱 Disney+ is about to drop another K-drama bomb πŸ’£ next month! Get ready for *Our Movie*, starring Namkoong…

F1-coureurs zeiken over Brad Pitts ‘F1’-film: Lovend? Kritisch? Meer ‘mwah’
Breaking

F1-coureurs zeiken over Brad Pitts ‘F1’-film: Lovend? Kritisch? Meer ‘mwah’

FinnMay 27, 2025May 27, 2025

OMG! πŸ™„ Joseph Kosinski, the genius behind *Top Gun: Maverick* (because we totally needed another one of those πŸ™„), is…

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Latest posts

  • Department Of Labor Cracks Down On People Getting Paid For Work
  • VOIVOD’s New Concept Album Will Probably Change Your Life Forever and Definitely Won’t Be Delayed Again Until At Least 2030: ‘It’s Gonna Sound A Bit Like A Movie Soundtrack But Only If The Movie Is About Robots And Aliens Fighting In Space’
  • Because You Clearly Haven’t Heard Enough of Purple Rain Yet Prince Estate Digs Up Some More Old Stuff to Sell You Timeless
  • John Bolton Pleads Guilty, Sentenced To 5-Year Imprisonment At SeaWorld
  • Trump Diverts All Science Funding Into Locating The Smurfs

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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