SOULFLY Hires Some Dude from WARBRINGER to Pluck Thumbs on European Vacation in 2025
SOULFLY, in a move that can only be described as either genius or a sign of the impending apocalypse, has…
Tag: breaking
Elden Ring Movie: Because the Game Wasn’t Confusing Enough
Oh, great, another video game movie. 🙄 Because Hollywood hasn’t butchered enough beloved franchises already. Apparently, A24 thinks they can…
PSYCROPTIC, the Band You’ve Never Heard Of, Joins METAL BLADE, Releases a Song That Sounds Just Like All Their Other Ones
Metal Blade Records, a label known for its impeccable taste (citation needed), has apparently signed Tasmanian death metal band PSYCROPTIC.…
Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)
Dear, oh dear, are we seriously calling this the *Final Destination* summer? 🙄 Like, hasn’t death been trendy since, like,…
Keanu’s a Clumsy Angel? Good Fortune Looks Like a Heavenly Mess
Alright, buckle up buttercups 🐴, because the trailer for Good Fortune just dropped, and it’s about as original as a…
Regal’s $1 Summer Movie Express: Prepare for a Cinematic Rollercoaster of Cheap Thrills (and Questionable Films) in 2025
Regal’s Summer Movie Express (SMX) is BACK for 2025, baby! 🎉 Get ready to shell out a whopping $1 (yes,…
Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome
So, Dave Mustaine, bless his pointy-guitar-loving heart, did another interview. This time, with some ex-Navy SEAL/CIA dude, because, you know,…
MINISTRY Drops New Single ‘I’ll Do Anything For You’ – Are They Finally Covering a Bryan Adams Classic? (Spoiler: No)
Al Jourgensen rocking heart-shaped sunglasses, pigtails, and a shirt proclaiming “I’m Adorable”? 🤣 Yeah, you didn’t misread that. Apparently, someone…
Metallica’s Black Album Goes 20x Platinum While ‘Master Of Puppets’ Still Stuck in the 80s
OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! METALLICA, yes, THOSE guys, have actually managed to sell some records! 💿💿 Apparently, two…
Online Gaming: A Playground for Future Felons
Alright gamers, gather ’round because we’re about to dive headfirst into the totally not-scary world of online gaming for kids!…