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Tag: breaking

Sam Raimi’s Latest Gore-Splattered Mid-Life Crisis Accidentally Funnier Than Evil Dead 4 Rumors
Breaking, Movie News

Sam Raimi’s Latest Gore-Splattered Mid-Life Crisis Accidentally Funnier Than Evil Dead 4 Rumors

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Oh look, it’s another cinematic masterpiece where you can FEEL Sam Raimi sweating onto the lens like a caffeinated gargoyle…

Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Behold, mortals! Amazon has finally graced us with the first official image of Sophie Turner as Lara Croft, and folks,…

Holy Wordplay, Batman! DC Just Hired a Writer to Ruin Robin
Breaking, Movie News

Holy Wordplay, Batman! DC Just Hired a Writer to Ruin Robin

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Hold onto your cowls, DC fanboys, because the Bat-Signal is flashing twice and it’s strobing like a rave in Arkham…

Super Mario Galaxy Movie Direct: Yoshi is Here to Eat Your Wallet and Stomp Your Nostalgia
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Super Mario Galaxy Movie Direct: Yoshi is Here to Eat Your Wallet and Stomp Your Nostalgia

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

🚨 ** BREAKING NEWS ** 🚨 The Mushroom Kingdom’s favorite plumbing duo have officially traded their overalls for diapers in…

Animal Crossing’s Brightest New Horizons On Switch 2: We Finally Have A Reason To Pay Off Tom Nook’s Debt
Breaking, Games News

Animal Crossing’s Brightest New Horizons On Switch 2: We Finally Have A Reason To Pay Off Tom Nook’s Debt

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

🎉 Welcome back to the island that refused to die! 🎉 Animal Crossing New Horizons burst onto the scene right…

Jason Momoa’s Lobo Totally Crashes the New ‘Supergirl’ Trailer Like an Interplanetary Biker Dude
Breaking, Movie News

Jason Momoa’s Lobo Totally Crashes the New ‘Supergirl’ Trailer Like an Interplanetary Biker Dude

FinnJanuary 24, 2026January 24, 2026

🎉 Ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seatbelts and hide your kegs, because Jason Momoa is officially done playing the King…

A Completely Objective and Unbiased Ranking Of The Metroid Series That Will Definitely Not Anger Any Fans Whatsoever
Breaking, Games News

A Completely Objective and Unbiased Ranking Of The Metroid Series That Will Definitely Not Anger Any Fans Whatsoever

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 24, 2026January 24, 2026

Welp, 2025 is officially in the rearview mirror, which means we’ve somehow survived another trip around the sun without the…

POPPY Just Dropped the ‘Time Will Tell’ Music Video From That ‘Empty Hands’ Album You Pretended to Listen To
Breaking, Music News

POPPY Just Dropped the ‘Time Will Tell’ Music Video From That ‘Empty Hands’ Album You Pretended to Listen To

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 23, 2026January 23, 2026

Poppy Is Here To Collect Your Digital Soul With “Empty Hands” And We’re All Just Living In It 🤖🙏 Ladies,…

Breaking Benjamin’s Keith Wallen Finally Gets a Solo Gig That Isn’t Just ‘Breaking Benjamin’
Breaking, Music News

Breaking Benjamin’s Keith Wallen Finally Gets a Solo Gig That Isn’t Just ‘Breaking Benjamin’

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 23, 2026January 23, 2026

🎶 Unleash the Acoustic Dragon: Keith Wallen’s New Single “A Thin Line” is Here to Haunt Your Playlists! 🎶 In…

Nintendo Confirms Super Mario Galaxy Movie Direct This Weekend And Oh God The Plumber Is Back In Space To Make You Cry About Luma Again
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Nintendo Confirms Super Mario Galaxy Movie Direct This Weekend And Oh God The Plumber Is Back In Space To Make You Cry About Luma Again

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 23, 2026January 23, 2026

Brace yourselves, Star Road commuters! 🚀 Nintendo is officially panicking that you forgot about their space opera sequel and has…

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Latest posts

  • Flooded Laos cave, who cares, not America’s problem anyway
  • LibERAL SNOWFLAKES whine about Trump’s perfectly justified Nespotjustice
  • Liberal elitists whine about Brit’s bad behavior again somehow
  • Grandma Demoted To Sippy Cup
  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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