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Tag: breaking

They Will Kill You – Zazie Beetz Takes on a Demon Cult and Probably Ruins Their Group Chat
Breaking, Movie News

They Will Kill You – Zazie Beetz Takes on a Demon Cult and Probably Ruins Their Group Chat

FinnJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Local Woman Discovers That Joining a Cult Is NOT Covered by Her Gym Membership 🚨 😱💸 In a…

Code Vein II Producer Keita Iizuka Explains How Time Travel Factors In
Breaking, Games News

Code Vein II Producer Keita Iizuka Explains How Time Travel Factors In

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

Oh great, another cash grab disguised as “innovation” in gaming. Buckle up, you degenerates, because Bandai Namco just dropped the…

How to Make Your Business Pop Up in AI Search Before It Judges Your SEO
Events

How to Make Your Business Pop Up in AI Search Before It Judges Your SEO

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 5, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Desperate Small Businesses to Learn How to Not Be Invisible to Robots 🤖💸 Join our webinar on Jan…

5 Things to Know for Jan. 5: Venezuela’s Drama, Airspace Meltdowns, Congress Still Can’t Agree on Coffee, California’s Floods and a Swiss Bar That Burned Down Like Your Hopes and Dreams
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things to Know for Jan. 5: Venezuela’s Drama, Airspace Meltdowns, Congress Still Can’t Agree on Coffee, California’s Floods and a Swiss Bar That Burned Down Like Your Hopes and Dreams

Big ElephantJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

Breaking News: Gas Prices to Plummet in 2026 – Thanks to Trump’s Mighty Hand The once-dreaded gas pump is finally…

This is Bigger Than Oil, It’s About the New US National Security Strategy Says Meyer Resources CEO
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

This is Bigger Than Oil, It’s About the New US National Security Strategy Says Meyer Resources CEO

Big ElephantJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

Breaking: U.S. Oil Giants Eye Venezuela Amid ‘Globalist Elite’ Plot to Steal Our Energy Independence – Again! In a stunning…

Code Vein II Preview – A Stylish Soulslike That Leans Fully Into Its Anime Excess
Breaking, Games News

Code Vein II Preview – A Stylish Soulslike That Leans Fully Into Its Anime Excess

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

Move over, Dark Souls, there’s a new vampire in town, and it’s here to steal your heart—literally. 🧛‍♂️💔 Code Vein…

HAKEN Fires Guitarist and Bassist for Not Being Able to Play While Juggling
Breaking, Music News

HAKEN Fires Guitarist and Bassist for Not Being Able to Play While Juggling

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: HAKEN LOSES TWO MEMBERS, GAINS TWO MORE EXCUSES TO REWRITE THEIR SETLIST 🚨 😱🎸 In a move that…

EXTREME Finally Decides to Make Another Album (Yes, They’re Still a Thing)
Breaking, Music News

EXTREME Finally Decides to Make Another Album (Yes, They’re Still a Thing)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: EXTREME ANNOUNCES SEVENTH ALBUM AFTER ONLY 3 YEARS OF SILENCE (A RECORD FOR THEM) 🚨 In a shocking…

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck Reunite to Prove They Still Know How to Pretend To Be Tough Guys
Breaking, Movie News

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck Reunite to Prove They Still Know How to Pretend To Be Tough Guys

FinnJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon Have Finally Reunited to Solve the World’s Most Pressing Mystery — Where Did…

The Making of Stranger Things 5 Doc Trailer Shows All The Writing Stress
Breaking, Movie News

The Making of Stranger Things 5 Doc Trailer Shows All The Writing Stress

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

Netflix just released the first trailer for the Stranger Things Season 5 BTS documentary, releasing on January 12th. Get ready…

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  • Exodus Tries Really Hard to Not Get Sued by Bioware for Being a Mass Effect Clone in 20-Minute Gameplay Demo That Weve All Seen Before
  • Missing congressman still better than any Dem representing me

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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