Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Cast

“Primitive War: Dinos vs ‘Nam – Get Ready to Clutch Your Pearls, History Buffs”
Breaking, Movie News

“Primitive War: Dinos vs ‘Nam – Get Ready to Clutch Your Pearls, History Buffs”

FinnJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Oh, SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, here we go again! 🤦‍♂️ Luke Sparke, the “visionary” behind such cinematic masterpieces as “Occupation…

Stephen King’s “The Long Walk” Finally Gets a Trailer (Spoiler: They Walk)
Breaking, Movie News

Stephen King’s “The Long Walk” Finally Gets a Trailer (Spoiler: They Walk)

FinnJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 🙄 Lionsgate UK, bless their cotton socks, has announced that *THE LONG WALK* will be gracing the…

John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Mildly Annoyed is Crawling to 4K
Breaking, Movie News

John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Mildly Annoyed is Crawling to 4K

FinnJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Do you read Sutter Cane? 📚 Asking for a friend… who may or may not be a Lovecraftian horror. Well,…

George Lynch and His Mob of Sycophants Debuts: Prepare for Guitar Wizardry (and Maybe Some Nap-Worthy Moments)
Breaking, Music News

George Lynch and His Mob of Sycophants Debuts: Prepare for Guitar Wizardry (and Maybe Some Nap-Worthy Moments)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

🎸 So, it seems “legendary” (according to whom? 🤔) guitarist George Lynch, fresh off the “LYNCH MOB’s” farewell tour –…

Pantera Dusts Off Grandma’s Attic: “New” Oldies for “Heaviest Tour (Maybe)” Kickoff in Burgettstown, PA
Breaking, Music News

Pantera Dusts Off Grandma’s Attic: “New” Oldies for “Heaviest Tour (Maybe)” Kickoff in Burgettstown, PA

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

PANTERA (or should we say “Pantera”?) 🙄 kicked off “The Heaviest Tour Of The Summer” Tuesday night (July 15) at…

‘Harry Potter’ Shows Off Discount Hagrid From Wish
Breaking, Movie News

‘Harry Potter’ Shows Off Discount Hagrid From Wish

FinnJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

OMG! 🙄 HBO Just Dropped a Hagrid Bomb and the Internet is Officially Imploding! 🔥 Prepare yourselves, Potterheads, because your…

‘Superman’ Cast and Crew Explain Why He Still Matters (As If We Didn’t Know) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Superman’ Cast and Crew Explain Why He Still Matters (As If We Didn’t Know) | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, pushing the “work-life balance” narrative with these two woke comedians! Ilana Glazer and Michelle…

Tom Holland Claims ‘Spider-Man 4’ Will Be So ‘Old School’ It’ll Be in Black & White With Cardboard Webshooters
Breaking, Movie News

Tom Holland Claims ‘Spider-Man 4’ Will Be So ‘Old School’ It’ll Be in Black & White With Cardboard Webshooters

FinnJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh great, another Spider-Man movie 🙄. As if we needed more of Tom Holland in spandex, desperately trying to convince…

CNN Asks ‘Superman’ Cast Members What Brand of Coffee They Can’t Live Without
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks ‘Superman’ Cast Members What Brand of Coffee They Can’t Live Without

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Another woke Hollywood production brought to you by the fake news media! Of course, CNN is promoting this garbage. The…

Night at the Museum: More Like Day of the Same Old Crud
Breaking, Movie News

Night at the Museum: More Like Day of the Same Old Crud

FinnJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Oh, great, another reboot! 🙄 Because Hollywood is just overflowing with original ideas, right? 20th Century Studios is apparently so…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 28 29 30 31 Next

Latest posts

  • Democrat Voters Excited To See Who Party Will Unilaterally Nominate Next
  • Trump Tries Not To Mess Up DC Beautification Effort
  • Jack White Fires Back At Religious Critics Amid Satanist Band Drama
  • Lorna Shore drops new music video because you clearly didnt have enough breakdowns in your life
  • Shinedown Finds Replacement Bassists Because Eric Bass Finally Snapped

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}